once a Dump always a Dump

Our Jewish following will realize that this past Sunday was Rosh Hashana and probably assumed when the blog wasn't up within a few days that we didn't play ..... The Captain and I did -- although not at our usual place or time. We went to a course we episodically play at - Dunwoodie in Yonkers - always swearing not to come back. It's an old, tired course -- plays short -- with fairways and greens that have seen as much action as the motel across the way that rents rooms by the hour. (I'm told this - don't know from personal experience.) We played in a reasonable 4 hrs and 20 minutes -- for 9 holes we were paired with a 'novice golfer' -- which was ok. We both shot in the mid 90's - more a reflection of the relative ease of the course than our abilities. Two 'truisms' were reinforced -- Once a Dump always a Dump and a day on the golf course with a 'brother' is always great.

There was excitement at the spin class this week ..... The spin Nazi - appropriately named by Mayor Kusherman - went on a tirade because people put towels on their bikes and were not sitting on them two minutes before the class begins. It wasn't enough for the person on the next bike to say that you were 'coming right back' - not even enough for the person to go into more detail and say 'you were in the bathroom' .... the NEW RULE dictated by the instructor is that you MUST TELL HER and she MUST ACKNOWLEDGE that you were in the room and now going to the bathroom. So in a room of adults you essentially have to raise your hand and loudly (because there is music playing) request permission to go to the bathroom. And because we are all intimidated by her (she teaches the Monday and Wed. 6 am class) - we go along with this. I have a habit of working out on the floor until the last minute - which gets my gym buddy Jody very nervous because there are people lined up outside of the spin room - like vultures - ready to take off your towel - throw your bottle of water to the side and claim your bike. So to recap what happens daily - we get to the gym at 4:40 am and line up. We go in at 5 am and need to make the decision - do you reserve a spin bike or an elliptical first. Depending on what you decide - you dash to the other and hope that you are not too late. Next you go to the locker room and try to get a locker that you think won't have 6 hairy men hanging around when you are finished working out. Finally, your on the floor and work out - always keeping an eye on the clock - because the Spin Nazi stands outside the room, taking attendance and then allowing the 'stand-bys' in when HER watch says 5:58 am. There is a good 5 minutes of her yelling about some injustice -- could be as simple as we ALL don't have heart monitors.

The time between Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur is a time of reflection and introspection. It's also a time to seek forgiveness from someone whom you may have intentionally or unintentionally 'wronged.' In keeping with this tradition - I most humbly apologize to my loyal readership both individually and collectively, for any 'slight' or any words or actions that may have offended you. I seek your forgiveness and will aspire to be both a better person and golfer in the year to come.

Long and Straight,
Short and True

Chipster OUT

The Fat Lady is Getting Ready

Sunday was beautiful -- sunny, dry, not too hot .... and on the 'rare occasion' that we would hit a fairway shot that landed on the green - we'd see the splash. Some sand traps were lakes and there were enough geese on the course to feed the hungry for a long time to come.

We are heading into the 'home stretch' - with only two weeks to go in the season - and since both weeks coincide with Jewish Holidays, it's conceivable that the Fat Lady has already started to sing. Barry didn't play this week -- he was doing some trivial stuff - delivering food to shut in Jewish Elderly so they could celebrate Rosh Hashana -- and we picked up a fourth - Mr. Mike. Mr. Mike was a nice enough guy -- but he should learn that only 'real golfers' hit from the Blues. On the very first tee - he dribbled the ball .... to be repeated more often than he'd like to remember. Otherwise, he was good at finding balls and kept the game moving.

There were some true disappointments. Richie's front 9 and my back 9 would add up to be a perfect score - if we were bowling. (I'm thinking of inventing a game called Gowling -- only play 9 holes and the person with the highest score wins.)

Another disappointment was Cart Girl. First of all - we didn't see her until the 17th hole -- and worse -- it was a new Cart Girl who obviously didn't pay attention to the dress code. I'm sure her long baggy blue jeans and long sleeve sweat shirt would be helpful if she was doing some other activity -- but it wasn't going to generate much in the way of sales.

Les played well and hit the shot of his season on the last hole - after a modest drive - he took a 5 wood and put the ball on the green - positioning himself for a Birdie. (Remember how Barry was shooting for an Eagle the week before -- Les had the same results.)

We finished in a barely satisfactory 4 hrs and 50 minutes.

I did not get the number of comments about last week's blog that I had requested. The only thing that saved me from going into the 'blog blues' was the Captain's telling me that he was out to dinner with a couple who 'confessed' that they were regular blog readers but just too 'shy' to comment. To that couple I say: your comments will only make the blog BETTER, so don't hesitate.

The gym continues to be the 'highpoint' of the day --- haven't had problems getting either a bike or the elliptical. Jody and I have worked out an arrangement where we divide and conquer -- The lines to get in at 5 am are getting longer and we now need to get their 20 minutes earlier - a small price to pay.

A quick shout out to my favorite teacher in Arkansas who has the flu --- school budget doesn't allow for soap in the bathrooms ... and to the Big Guy - go NY football.

This may be the last blog of the season (and depending on whether we get a BETTER response, possible forever.)

I wish you more success than I had this season - since too often my putts were longer than my drives -

Chipster out!

Julie's Blog vs BK Golf and More

Let's get golf out of the way --- a beautiful day - nicest of the year - only made better because "Mayor Neil" joined us - as our Captain was on Shark Patrol at the Cape. Four of us started - two of us finished (the Mayor and me), with B and Les leaving early. Best shot of the game - if not the season - occur ed on the 13th hole -- as Barry hit a beautiful drive - which landed before the stream. He took a 3 wood and placed the ball 1.5 ft. from the hole on two. On the verge of getting an unheard of - and I believe never witnessed by any of us - EAGLE - B approached the putt and .............................. As exciting as this was, Neil did meet Golf Cart Girl and was charmed into purchasing Gatorade and chips .... It's just a pleasure seeing someone enjoy her job as much as she does. We finished in a very snappy 4 hrs and 20 minutes. It was a typical round - more good shots than bad, a few pars, Neil was able to call upon his draw when necessary.



Did anyone really like Julie's Blog? Can you compare a blog on someone else's recipes with my Synfeldian Blog? Where are you - my 'invisible readers?' She got a movie out of her blog - and I got 'nuthin.' Best part of the Julie/Julia movie was each of their husbands .... their total devotion to their self indulged wives was admirable. Who cares about how to 'de-bone a duck' --- compared to the classic episodes: should Dan return chairs to Costco after using them for a Seder? is it OK to pee in front of the Golf Ranger? Is it possible to get a golf club, followed by a sneaker stuck in a tree? Come on out there -- it's no contest. If Julie get's a movie, I've earned the right to a TV series --



Summer's over, the their will be more traffic on the roads, with the school buses and teachers, and the gym will be crowded again. Jodi and I are 'in synch' - checking often with each other - making sure we are signed up for tomorrow. We'll have to re-establish ourselves - be there extra early - lining up at 4:40 am for a 5 am opening. We'll need to work as a team - one of us signing up for Wed spin, while the other secures the bikes and then the ellipticals. We need to assert ourselves - make sure we are the alpha gym rats - and as everyone knows - it's hard to hold on to your crown where there someone someone looking to knock you off your pedestal. It takes a little longer to get out of bed at 4:00 am .... but we have to do it ....

It's official now -- Dr. C, the big guy, Xag and T-ea-C-H will be running the Miami 1/2 marathon with me on Jan. 31st. We are all signed up -- and training has begun in earnest.

and to end with a brief story that 'truth is often more unbelievable than fiction" .... This truth involves Judi - the person who we count on to know 'right from wrong' and never deviate. Well 'deviate' she did -- in a way that most if not all will not Believe. Last night -- in less than 15 minutes - our Judith inhaled a pint of Ben and Jerry's Phish Ice Cream. Hard to believe you say --- well apparently Judi is full of surprises ....

Let me give a shout out to Downtown Boat House --- Judi and I went kayaking on the Hudson this morning -- pier 40 - by Houston Street --- and the cost of this - complete with locker, life jackets, kyaks/paddles .... a big O... free! It closes in October - so go for it.

and if you really want - I can give you a recipe for making corn on the grill -

I'm looking to get double digit comments ... don't let me down.

Keeping your drives long and straight, your putts short and true,

The Chipster.