Lesson learned - April 24th

It was a Thursday afternoon -- sun shining, temperature hovering around 80. I had been diligently working since 7:30 am (other than having lunch with a favorite Board member at his Country Club) ... and then the 'itch'. I had put my clubs in the trunk the night before -- just in case this Board member said - too bad you didn't bring your clubs - great day to play golf - and I would have responded -- what a coincidence .....

So I "scratched" and left work - never having done this before - to play 'walk on golf' -- alone. Got to the parking lot -- jammed -- changed and went to the pro shop to 'sign in'. Ahead of me was a young man - 20's - and ahead of him was a mother and two children - ages approximately 9 and 11. She was signing up to play golf. I got to admit -- as much of a 'nice guy' people think I am, and no-one can question my 'family values' - better they be doing something together - as a family - outdoors - and not watching TV .... but do they have to golf in front of me. My 'pain' only increased as the kid bought 3 balls and the mom asked if there were clubs they could borrow.

Decision point - do I go out -- or go back to work ... The 'golf mantra' - a bad day on the course is better than a good day in the office - came to mind and I decided to 'gut it out. The young man in front of me asked if I wanted to team up with him -- no problem. (His name is Matt -- I introduced myself as Bud.)

Go the the first hole -- mom and the kids have 'teed off' - and for those familiar with the course -- they were on their third stroke - having not gotten to the tree line yet (less than 150 yds from the tees.) The little girl had resorted to throwing the ball - which means hers were going further than her brother's and certainly further than her mothers. Shoot me know.

So I called out -- 'mind if we play through?' --- and they said yes -- going to stand by the cart path - near the trees .... (once again - sorry to my readership who are not familiar with the course - but this is exactly where most of us hit our balls.)

My 'partner' Matt -- he's approx. 5'6 and weighs in at 260 lbs -- and it's not muscle - hits first. As I found out -- he has two speeds -- he hits fast and swings as hard as he could. He lands well beyond the fairway - but straight. I get up - very aware where the family (let's call them the Partridges) were standing. Took my 5 wood and swung... I didn't know that I could yell "Four" (or is it Fore?) so loud - as my shot went straight for the trees. Luckily for me (they didn't move) for the first time in my illustrious career - I cleared the trees. (I gave them 4 balls and more tees as compensation.)

Thinking we were 'home free' and in for a stressless afternoon of golf -- proceeded to do well on the hole. It was only then that I looked up and saw that Tony Soprano and his crew were playing in front of us. Four 'big guys' - in golf carts - smoking stogies and drinking beer. There was clearly Tony - appeared to be in his mid 40's and the crew were deferential - in their 30's.

Worse yet -- there was a Foursome in front of them -- so the course was backed up. When Tony teed off (remember - we are only on the second hole and already the Partridges had caught up) I knew I was being punished by the WJCS G-d ... He swung 2x missing everything - finally dribbled a ball and then took a mulligan .... which I discovered was his way of playing. And of course - they were playing from the Blues.

When it was finally our turn to hit -- I teed off - and hit the best drive of my life -- (I think I'll ask my technical advisor to put a map of the course on this blog) -- clearing the sand trap on the right and almost hitting Tony and crew. We made up at the third hole - when I apologized and Tony offered me a beer - which I took - because not too may have insulted him.

A word about my partner Matt, or let's call him Manic Matt. He just keeps up a steady stream of chatter - so during our waits I learned that he was a Junior at Iona College - majoring in Marketting - manager of the Men's Basketball team, taking a break from studying for finals, only child, freshman roommate got him into the game - then the roommate left college to turn pro -- giving him a set of clubs. Manic Matt didn't stop talking and following me to my ball. What made it a bit worse -- and long time followers of my golf exploits will understand this -- he kept referring to me as "Bud" and thought he needed to 'yell' when I didn't respond. Manic Mike also had the habit of saying 'Great Shot' - almost before I hit the ball. When one of our regulars does this - it's endearing - with Matt - it was distracting. Making matters worse was when he asked what I did -- I should have said 'law enforcement' - but I said social work. Who would have known that his mother is a social worker - who is in the process of getting her doctorate - and looking for a job. So for three more holes -- and remember there was a wait for each hole - he vacilated between telling me how great his mother was -- and asking me about my job. (I did give him my business card - since his mother is bi-lingual - and said that I couldn't talk about my work on the course - was too distracting -- as though his 'verbal diahhreah wasn't.)

Allow me to digress -in case you think that Manic Matt wasn't irritating enough - at the 4th hole there is a jug of water. I teed off - hitting it just to the right of the green - and turned around -- Manic Matt was there holding a cup of water for me .... and that continued at every water stop.

We finally get to the 9th hole -- once again a topographic map is so necessary - There is a modest incline after you hit the ball. Manic Matt - who doesn't stop talking - is gasping for breath as he's walking up this hill. Remember his physical desciption ... (We had hit the ball to the same spot so I couldn't help but comment - asking him if he's allright.) I'm thinking if he has a heart attack - am I responsible to give CPR and stay around until help comes - or can I play on?

So the first Nine took an intolerable 2 hrs and 45 minutes ....it's 6:45 and the sun is getting lower in the sky. Tony and the crew are having a grand old time. We continue to have to wait at every hole for them to take on the average 6 tee shots (remember there are only 4 of them playing). I've taken to staying on the putting green of the previous hole - practicing getting out of sand traps, etc.

Manic Matt didn't really recover from the 9th hole 'hike' -- He played two more -- the sun was setting -- I played on ... and by the 11th hole - Tony and crew were out of beer and cigars - they headed back -- with a wave and a 'see ya again'.

I played until 8 PM -- if I had a flashlight I would have gone longer. (We have a miner's hat with a lamp but who thought to bring that.)

Would I do it again -- go out myself -- Nope -- because my lesson learned was that for me - Golf is merely an 'outlet', a vehicle for spending quality time with people I like.

And now my faithful readership -- I am thinking of making this a mulit-media experience. I'm told that I can have my own radio blog -- with a call in number -- so if there is a 'demand' - I can free up Sunday evening: 8 - 9:00 PM for an interactive opportunity for us to explore 'BK Golf and More." Let me know what you think.