Growing up in the Bronx - disputes that arose during games like stoop ball, punch ball, stick ball , captain, weren't resolved by fighting -- they were resolved by someone calling a 'Do-Over.' The prior play was forgotten - and another chance was given.
I had a "Do-Over" week-end of golf.
On Sunday, while Dan was throwing out a line and Richie was at Amanda's graduation - Barry and I had a special treat of playing with Sam Gold. "Atta Boy" to Sam for getting to the golf course by 6:30 AM .... and playing the full 18! If this was closer to Father's Day, I would wax poetically about the pleasure of playing with Barry and Sam. (Similarly to how I felt playing with Richie and his dad. There is something special about playing 'intergenerational golf' with your friends kids or their dad.) I do want to note that Sam's play was at least equal - and usually surpassed ours .... the only problem with that is Sam has played less that 12 times, and we've been playing golf almost twice as long as he's been alive. Sam's strong suit was chipping from off the green and getting the ball in the cup. It was particularly heart warming to see the Gold's share some rye bread at the 10th hole. (although it fairness - I need to point out that this was one of Barry's 'substandard snacks' - no butter, no challah, no bagel and cream cheese.)
We were joined on Sunday by U-Taka ... a very polite young man who is known for having the largest 'putter heads' and tees that looked more like tripods. We were chastised a number of times by the Ranger .... couldn't keep up with the foursome in front of us ... but still managed to play the course in a near record 4 hrs and 20 minutes.
My game was inconsistent -- but I was able to call a "DO-OVER" (bet you wondered when I was going to get the title into the blog) because I was playing on Monday with Richie (or as I called him - Rick). The great thing about a "Do-Over" - whether you are 8 years old or 7X that (as Jill is) - is that the past is forgotten and there is the expectation that all that went bad on the course yesterday will be magically corrected today. So on Sunday - my first tee shot went as usual into the grove -- but on Monday - I hit it OVER the trees. But I get ahead of myself.
As teenagers and young adults, Richie and I were most often not part of the 'inner sports circle' when it came to situations at the Van Courtland tennis courts. Although we had tennis permits, and although there was supposedly a city rec employee to 'maintain order and enforce the rules' - the 'street law' always favored the 'insiders.' For instance - if the courts were wet - and an 'insider' cleared the court -- they had unlimited tennis time -- while Richie and I (the outsiders) were shut out. The same thing happened again when we would go to play racket ball at the New Rochelle YMCA - and the 'insiders' would rig a system so we would only get 45 minutes of playing time while they played the night.
Well sports fans - today (Monday) was another DO-OVER. Richie has registered us for an 11:58 tee time and shortly after paying -- it became apparent that there was trouble in Saxon Woods. There were 6 people registered for this tee time. (For the uninformed golfers - since this is much more than a golfing blog - only 4 people can tee off at a time.) There was a huddle with the Saxon Woods Golfing Authorities -- with Richie and I expecting to be told that we'd have to wait -- like we did in Van Cortland Park, or at the Y - so the 'insiders' could play. Since there was a 'parade' of people waiting to play (this being Memorial Day) -- this could have been a deal breaker. And then - out of the Golf Authorities huddle came a 'booming voice' - the Starter - who as many of the readership know is the most important official on the course - because without him you can't -- START -- announced in a most authoritative manner -- that those two (and he pointed to Richie and me) were going to tee off at 11:58 and the other 4 would have to work it out ... because we were 'regulars.' WE MADE IT -- WE WERE INSIDERS -- All the slights of childhood -- all the feelings of inadequacy on the courts -- all the injustices we suffered disappeared some 40 + years later -- because we were among the 'few, the popular, the Insiders' at Saxon Woods Golf Course! The Starter had our backs -- we were one of 'his boys.' And to think - last year we debated getting him a gift and decided not to -- well he earned it today.
The game itself was Seinfeldian. We were on track to play a record 6 hrs - the front 9 took 3 hrs - and we left after 15. The two guys we were paired with -- TJ and Ken were memorable. Literally - the wait between each of the first 9 holes was anywhere from 20 - 30 minutes. But that didn't stop our new best friend Ken from taking 9 -- thats right - count them - 9 practice swings on every ball -- not just the tee shots -- every ball. The 9 practice swings doesn't take into account the 2 or more times he had to stand behind his ball, or the practice - on hand back swing. This is no exaggeration - but he had a picnic basket with him -- and I soon saw why -- he brought both his lunch and dinner to eat while he played. TJ was a caricature -- he could drive the ball a mile -- but was so intense -- He lost one club last week when he played and lost another club today -- my sense is from slamming them to the ground after a mis-hit.
and so - the close of another golfing week-end. Great for me because I got to play two days in a row with great friends -- although DAN -- you are missed! Great because for the first time I became an "insider" and great because it reminded me that in life, like in golf -- you often get a chance for a DO-OVER .
Remember to hit them long and straight this week --
Monday, May 26, 2008
Sunday, May 18, 2008
A Day of Reflection
For all the golf enthusiasts who read this blog -- read no more -- this Sunday's outing was cancelled because of rain. So for the readership who want 'and more' this week-end was a time of reflection.
Daniel K. (not to be confused with golfer Daniel who is featured weekly in the blog and who has inspired many of the great ethical discussions that generally start on the fourth hole and often continue beyond the eighth hole) - came north for the week-end with Amanda (who has graciously given permission to be referred to as his 'girlfriend.' Daniel and Amanda's 14 hour drive (usually it's a 9 hours but in this case crossing the Verrizano (and yes I know it's misspelled for the spelling bee winners out there) Bridge into Brooklyn and then doubling back to go to Philadelphia on their way to Westchester will add hours) started what was for me - a heart warming week-end. You always want your child to be in a good place and that's where Daniel is -- a wonderful 'girlfriend' who tolerated my incessant questions and 'good natured kidding' ... for those movie aficionados - remember the scene in "Diner" where the young woman about to get married had to pass a sports quiz in order to 'qualify' .... well Amanda put up with lots of 'quizzes' with a smile, good humor and some great comebacks. (Sara - golfer Barry's daughter who is a film major at UP is at the Cannes film festival (France) and is welcomed to add any comments about movies, which could become a regular feature, along with food and attire sections.)
As my loyal following know - I am most grateful to having my closest friends living in the area (with the exception of someone who em migrated to Houston) and for them to meet and spend time with Daniel and Amanda was important - to all of us. Also - seeing Daniel, Amanda, and my father wearing ridiculous hats and playing kazoos with my mother singing and waving an American flag is a site that no-one could have anticipated a few short months ago. (note Mother's Day Blog.) It really doesn't get any better than to be able to share the 'good' with childhood friends. (For those of you concerned about how Daniel and Amanda will be getting back to North Carolina -- I'm happy to report they are now in possession of a GPS navigator system -- here's a thank you to Marty who 'sung the praises' of GPS before they were popular -- as well as Diane's praises before she was popular --- and a car that has 4 new tires and brakes -- thanks to the sharp eyes and strong directive of another one of my brothers - Mike. There was no equivocation when Mike saw Daniel's car - and called his mechanic saying that Daniel was NOT ALLOWED to drive that car until it was 'repaired.'
While I really try never to take my kids for granted -- today highlighted the fragility of life as we honored the memory of another one of my brother's daughters, whose untimely passing after battling the rigors of cancer two times in her short life has forever changed the lives of all who loved her. Today was the annual Marisa Run --- a run organized by Dave to raise funds for the Marisa Fund -- to make sure other children do not suffer from the toxic 'cures' for cancer like she did and to make sure that families who are going through such life wrenching experiences receive cash assistance for things not covered by insurance but can make such a difference for those living through such hardship.
I would not do justice to Marisa and her memory if I tried to capture the essence of this remarkable person. Suffice it do say that she will always be an inspiration, as is her Dad. I was so moved by seeing the students who Dave has worked with for the past four years -- come to give their support. I spent a couple of minutes asking them about their experience with Dave and their comments included: "He had confidence in me when I had none in myself." "He believed in me when no-0ne else did." "He cared so much ...and so many more similar tributes." Those of us know Dave as the consummate educator - and his good works will live on in these graduating seniors and the thousands of other student's lives he's touched over a rich career with the NYC Dept. of Ed.
So readers -- there you have it - a week-end of heart warming experiences and poignant reflections.
Remember to hit 'em' long and straight this week - and hope for good weather for the upcoming Memorial Day Week-end. A hearty congratulations to Amanda, Richie's - the best dressed golfer - daughter on her upcoming graduation from Hamilton
Daniel K. (not to be confused with golfer Daniel who is featured weekly in the blog and who has inspired many of the great ethical discussions that generally start on the fourth hole and often continue beyond the eighth hole) - came north for the week-end with Amanda (who has graciously given permission to be referred to as his 'girlfriend.' Daniel and Amanda's 14 hour drive (usually it's a 9 hours but in this case crossing the Verrizano (and yes I know it's misspelled for the spelling bee winners out there) Bridge into Brooklyn and then doubling back to go to Philadelphia on their way to Westchester will add hours) started what was for me - a heart warming week-end. You always want your child to be in a good place and that's where Daniel is -- a wonderful 'girlfriend' who tolerated my incessant questions and 'good natured kidding' ... for those movie aficionados - remember the scene in "Diner" where the young woman about to get married had to pass a sports quiz in order to 'qualify' .... well Amanda put up with lots of 'quizzes' with a smile, good humor and some great comebacks. (Sara - golfer Barry's daughter who is a film major at UP is at the Cannes film festival (France) and is welcomed to add any comments about movies, which could become a regular feature, along with food and attire sections.)
As my loyal following know - I am most grateful to having my closest friends living in the area (with the exception of someone who em migrated to Houston) and for them to meet and spend time with Daniel and Amanda was important - to all of us. Also - seeing Daniel, Amanda, and my father wearing ridiculous hats and playing kazoos with my mother singing and waving an American flag is a site that no-one could have anticipated a few short months ago. (note Mother's Day Blog.) It really doesn't get any better than to be able to share the 'good' with childhood friends. (For those of you concerned about how Daniel and Amanda will be getting back to North Carolina -- I'm happy to report they are now in possession of a GPS navigator system -- here's a thank you to Marty who 'sung the praises' of GPS before they were popular -- as well as Diane's praises before she was popular --- and a car that has 4 new tires and brakes -- thanks to the sharp eyes and strong directive of another one of my brothers - Mike. There was no equivocation when Mike saw Daniel's car - and called his mechanic saying that Daniel was NOT ALLOWED to drive that car until it was 'repaired.'
While I really try never to take my kids for granted -- today highlighted the fragility of life as we honored the memory of another one of my brother's daughters, whose untimely passing after battling the rigors of cancer two times in her short life has forever changed the lives of all who loved her. Today was the annual Marisa Run --- a run organized by Dave to raise funds for the Marisa Fund -- to make sure other children do not suffer from the toxic 'cures' for cancer like she did and to make sure that families who are going through such life wrenching experiences receive cash assistance for things not covered by insurance but can make such a difference for those living through such hardship.
I would not do justice to Marisa and her memory if I tried to capture the essence of this remarkable person. Suffice it do say that she will always be an inspiration, as is her Dad. I was so moved by seeing the students who Dave has worked with for the past four years -- come to give their support. I spent a couple of minutes asking them about their experience with Dave and their comments included: "He had confidence in me when I had none in myself." "He believed in me when no-0ne else did." "He cared so much ...and so many more similar tributes." Those of us know Dave as the consummate educator - and his good works will live on in these graduating seniors and the thousands of other student's lives he's touched over a rich career with the NYC Dept. of Ed.
So readers -- there you have it - a week-end of heart warming experiences and poignant reflections.
Remember to hit 'em' long and straight this week - and hope for good weather for the upcoming Memorial Day Week-end. A hearty congratulations to Amanda, Richie's - the best dressed golfer - daughter on her upcoming graduation from Hamilton
Sunday, May 11, 2008
What's the Speed Limit on this course?
We finished today's round in 4 hours and 30 minutes. If you look back on the previous posts, you will see that the weekly times range from 4 hours and 25 minutes to 4 hours and 45 minutes, so although this round fit within the norm it was marked by an event that strikes fear in the heart of every golfer. No I'm not talking about the dreaded shank shot, I'm talking about something else. So let me set the scene. Golf is like driving down a winding double yellow line country road with no passing lane. You hope that you do not get behind a tractor which will force you to move at a speed that is slower than you would like to go. The only thing worse than playing golf behind a "tractor" foursome is if your foursome is the tractor. If you are constantly looking behind you and seeing the foursome waiting for you to move on so they can hit their shot - you begin to feel like you are in a scene from "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid" and wondering "Who are those guys who are alway right behind us?"
We don't want to be the tractor so we developed a set of rules to ensure that we play as fast as we can. Fast is relative, and we are on our honor to try our best, but the law is enforced by a solitary figure that patrols the golf course. He rides alone and his title is ranger, but he is not the "lone Ranger" He (sometimes a she) is usually a retired gentleman who gets paid a nominal fee and some golf perks to ride the course and fill up the water stations. The ranger is vested with other responsibilities, he is responsible for ensuring that the pace of play is as fast as it can be. If not, he must chastise and exhort the foursome to play faster. Getting scolded by the Ranger is an embarrassment that you want to avoid. It is reminiscent of being told to be quiet in a theater, or being told by the Principal to hurry up and get to class.
We felt on pretty safe ground today because the foursome behind us was more than one hole back, but we did notice that the foursome in front of us was pulling away from us. But since we were not holding up anyone, what difference did it make. We tried the usual pre-emptive maneuver with the Ranger - chatting with him about what a beautiful day it was and generally making nice. But the sucking up was all for naught. On the 11th tee it happened. He said, "guys, could you pick up the pace the people in front of you are a full hole ahead of you."
What to do? Defend ourselves by saying we are playing as fast as we can and that on the last hole we even has two players hitting simultaneously? Or maybe we should say, "What difference does it make, because the foursome behind us is not being held up by us.
What did we do???
It was a beautiful day and we weren't going to let this spoil it. We said, "okay," and proceeded to play the remaining holes as fast as we could.
We don't want to be the tractor so we developed a set of rules to ensure that we play as fast as we can. Fast is relative, and we are on our honor to try our best, but the law is enforced by a solitary figure that patrols the golf course. He rides alone and his title is ranger, but he is not the "lone Ranger" He (sometimes a she) is usually a retired gentleman who gets paid a nominal fee and some golf perks to ride the course and fill up the water stations. The ranger is vested with other responsibilities, he is responsible for ensuring that the pace of play is as fast as it can be. If not, he must chastise and exhort the foursome to play faster. Getting scolded by the Ranger is an embarrassment that you want to avoid. It is reminiscent of being told to be quiet in a theater, or being told by the Principal to hurry up and get to class.
We felt on pretty safe ground today because the foursome behind us was more than one hole back, but we did notice that the foursome in front of us was pulling away from us. But since we were not holding up anyone, what difference did it make. We tried the usual pre-emptive maneuver with the Ranger - chatting with him about what a beautiful day it was and generally making nice. But the sucking up was all for naught. On the 11th tee it happened. He said, "guys, could you pick up the pace the people in front of you are a full hole ahead of you."
What to do? Defend ourselves by saying we are playing as fast as we can and that on the last hole we even has two players hitting simultaneously? Or maybe we should say, "What difference does it make, because the foursome behind us is not being held up by us.
What did we do???
It was a beautiful day and we weren't going to let this spoil it. We said, "okay," and proceeded to play the remaining holes as fast as we could.
Mother's Day Golf
Here's a shout out to my blogging family that is growing exponentially. A point in fact is that I received a text message at 7:15 PM wanting to know where the post was for today. It took me 15 minutes to figure out I had a text message and another 5 minutes to figure out how to access it. So my loyal bloggers -- All I am Saying is Give Me A Chance .... Every where I go -- at work, on the golf course, out with friends, dinner with my parents --- all I hear is "blog, blog, blog...." I know how John felt, how Bruce, Bob and Mary J. feel ... the pressure to live up to the expectations of loyal fans is at time 'overwhelming.'
Sunday Morning - earlier tee time - 6:52 am and promises of the best day of weather we've had. This was particularly important to me since the only good thing about my game was my attire -- I dressed in shorts -- anticipating that the short term 'discomfort' would be worth it as the day progressed. (In fairness to our readers who look forward to the fashion report --- Dan was decked out in a blue striped (horizontal stripes) shirt and a very fashionable blue sleeveless sweater vest. Richie was wearing a non-descriptive beige outfit while Barry was making a statement with a bright orange sweatshirt. Much to the disappointment of many, Barry was NOT wearing his red sweatpants today.)
The game could be summed up on the first hole -- 3 balls on the fairway and one in the grove of trees. (can the reader who is the spelling police - tell me if a 'grove of trees' is redundant?)
Fortunately, 'orange man' was driving the ball while 'beige man' and 'best dressed man' played solid golf and I dragged my butt and my cart waiting for my game to turn around.
While golf conversation continued to cover the gamut - from Dan's description of making his own gorp - and that dried fruit encouraged bowel movements - to talk about graduations -- the 3 golfers are celebrating children's graduations this year - and we'll send a "hearty congratulations to Sam, Amanda and Mark -- For the readership interested in food -- in addition to Dan's Gorp (he did offer us some -- refer to prior blogs), we had Richie's Bagel -- a change for him; Barry's Challah and Butter -his favorite- and my Peanut Butter on an english muffin -- Comments on the nutritional value of each players choice of food is welcomed.
There was a "NEWS FLASH" on the fifth hole. We had last heard that Dan was in a moral and legal quandary about the Country Club he 'quasi' joined. For first time readers -- Dan had joined a Country Club to augment his golf with us. To his consternation (SAT word) - he heard mumblings that the course was going to be sold to a developer. Luckily for our hero - he had yet to pay his initiation fee -- and was in negotiations with the owners. They were reluctant to waive the fee for Dan - knowing that in short order the domino theory (Vietnam History Buffs will remember this) would take effect and the demand for pro-rated initiation fees would cripple the club. Richie asked what was happening with his Country Club saga -- to which Dan gave a circuitous response that included Linda going to Richard Gere's home to install an entertainment center with their friend's son .... which while interesting and something that our 'inquisitive minds want to know more about' - didn't respond to the Country Club question. It turns out that Dan has leveraged his Country Club initiation fee into a rental on a house on a lake in Putnam County, fulfilling a life's dream of his. On a serious note - I am happy that Dan will be able to 'throw a line in' -- we've heard that there are Bass with Attitude (big mouth bass - credit to Richie for this quip) just waiting to be caught. I hope that he'll find a way to fish Saturday mornings and Sunday afternoons because his absence on the course will be felt by all who love him. However - this certainly positions Richie to be named 'best dressed' at the banquet at the end of the year.
I realized that my golf game suffered from a mental breakdown. One of our world leaders (readers - help me out with this one) said - and I'm paraphrasing now --- "If you don't learn from history -- your doomed to repeat the same mistakes." I was so focused on my 'golf history - my past mistakes' that hole after hole - I overcompensated -- mostly pulling the ball to the left out of a desire NOT to slice the ball to the right. I did not have the mental acuity (another SAT word) to both learn from but not over respond to the lessons of the past.
Since this Blog is BK Golf and More -- let me focus on the "MORE" ... Perhaps as I am about to celebrate being 1/2 century old, I'm getting more reflective - after all - I'm on the back 9 - no matter how many mulligans I take -- Mother's Day took on more significance this year.
I read the lead article in the Westchester Section of the Times that described the value of a support group, especially on Mother's Day, for adults who have lost their mothers. Two of our foursome - and my better half - don't have their mothers to celebrate this day - and I'm sorry that I wasn't more aware. A colleague and friend from work suffered the loss of her son this past year - a tragic and unexpected loss - my heart goes out to her every day and especially today. On the other end of the continuum - I never expected to celebrate this Mother's Day either - and yet, my mother is an example of someone whose will to live - whose good spirit and kind nature is inspirational - reminds me every day that miracles can happen - and gives new meaning to the word "courage."
Here's wishing you a week of long drives, sure putts, and no sand.
Peace Out!
Sunday Morning - earlier tee time - 6:52 am and promises of the best day of weather we've had. This was particularly important to me since the only good thing about my game was my attire -- I dressed in shorts -- anticipating that the short term 'discomfort' would be worth it as the day progressed. (In fairness to our readers who look forward to the fashion report --- Dan was decked out in a blue striped (horizontal stripes) shirt and a very fashionable blue sleeveless sweater vest. Richie was wearing a non-descriptive beige outfit while Barry was making a statement with a bright orange sweatshirt. Much to the disappointment of many, Barry was NOT wearing his red sweatpants today.)
The game could be summed up on the first hole -- 3 balls on the fairway and one in the grove of trees. (can the reader who is the spelling police - tell me if a 'grove of trees' is redundant?)
Fortunately, 'orange man' was driving the ball while 'beige man' and 'best dressed man' played solid golf and I dragged my butt and my cart waiting for my game to turn around.
While golf conversation continued to cover the gamut - from Dan's description of making his own gorp - and that dried fruit encouraged bowel movements - to talk about graduations -- the 3 golfers are celebrating children's graduations this year - and we'll send a "hearty congratulations to Sam, Amanda and Mark -- For the readership interested in food -- in addition to Dan's Gorp (he did offer us some -- refer to prior blogs), we had Richie's Bagel -- a change for him; Barry's Challah and Butter -his favorite- and my Peanut Butter on an english muffin -- Comments on the nutritional value of each players choice of food is welcomed.
There was a "NEWS FLASH" on the fifth hole. We had last heard that Dan was in a moral and legal quandary about the Country Club he 'quasi' joined. For first time readers -- Dan had joined a Country Club to augment his golf with us. To his consternation (SAT word) - he heard mumblings that the course was going to be sold to a developer. Luckily for our hero - he had yet to pay his initiation fee -- and was in negotiations with the owners. They were reluctant to waive the fee for Dan - knowing that in short order the domino theory (Vietnam History Buffs will remember this) would take effect and the demand for pro-rated initiation fees would cripple the club. Richie asked what was happening with his Country Club saga -- to which Dan gave a circuitous response that included Linda going to Richard Gere's home to install an entertainment center with their friend's son .... which while interesting and something that our 'inquisitive minds want to know more about' - didn't respond to the Country Club question. It turns out that Dan has leveraged his Country Club initiation fee into a rental on a house on a lake in Putnam County, fulfilling a life's dream of his. On a serious note - I am happy that Dan will be able to 'throw a line in' -- we've heard that there are Bass with Attitude (big mouth bass - credit to Richie for this quip) just waiting to be caught. I hope that he'll find a way to fish Saturday mornings and Sunday afternoons because his absence on the course will be felt by all who love him. However - this certainly positions Richie to be named 'best dressed' at the banquet at the end of the year.
I realized that my golf game suffered from a mental breakdown. One of our world leaders (readers - help me out with this one) said - and I'm paraphrasing now --- "If you don't learn from history -- your doomed to repeat the same mistakes." I was so focused on my 'golf history - my past mistakes' that hole after hole - I overcompensated -- mostly pulling the ball to the left out of a desire NOT to slice the ball to the right. I did not have the mental acuity (another SAT word) to both learn from but not over respond to the lessons of the past.
Since this Blog is BK Golf and More -- let me focus on the "MORE" ... Perhaps as I am about to celebrate being 1/2 century old, I'm getting more reflective - after all - I'm on the back 9 - no matter how many mulligans I take -- Mother's Day took on more significance this year.
I read the lead article in the Westchester Section of the Times that described the value of a support group, especially on Mother's Day, for adults who have lost their mothers. Two of our foursome - and my better half - don't have their mothers to celebrate this day - and I'm sorry that I wasn't more aware. A colleague and friend from work suffered the loss of her son this past year - a tragic and unexpected loss - my heart goes out to her every day and especially today. On the other end of the continuum - I never expected to celebrate this Mother's Day either - and yet, my mother is an example of someone whose will to live - whose good spirit and kind nature is inspirational - reminds me every day that miracles can happen - and gives new meaning to the word "courage."
Here's wishing you a week of long drives, sure putts, and no sand.
Peace Out!
Mother's Day Golf
Here's a shout out to my blogging family that is growing exponentially. A point in fact is that I received a text message at 7:15 PM wanting to know where was the post for today. It took me 15 minutes to figure out I had a text message and another 5 minutes to figure out how to access it. So my loyal bloggers -- All I am Saying is Give Me A Chance .... Every where I go -- at work, on the golf course, out with friends, dinner with my parents --- all I hear is "blog, blog, blog...." I know how John felt, how Bruce, Bob and Mary J. feel ... the pressure to live up to the expectations of loyal fans is at time 'overwhelming.'
So here it is --- The best day of weather we've had --- and the only good thing about my game was my attire -- I dressed in shorts -- anticipating that the short term 'discomfort' would be worth it as the day
So here it is --- The best day of weather we've had --- and the only good thing about my game was my attire -- I dressed in shorts -- anticipating that the short term 'discomfort' would be worth it as the day
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Cinderella on the Golf Course
There is a great guy - a friend and a Board member - who periodically invites me to play golf at his Country Club. We played today, joined by another very nice guy - a friend of his - weather was a 10+ - Yet - today's outing highlighted the a 'core issue' that I struggle with -- feeling worthy of 'living someone else's life" - even for 5 hours - without feeling so uncomfortable, without finding reason's to feel 'guilty' of the privilege I have -- or paradoxically - feeling envious of the 'privilege' I don't enjoy.
Dressing for Country Club golf requires a bit of time and thought. The black wind pants - even the dressy ones without the stripes down the legs - wouldn't do. I wore beige dockers, a white Nike Tiger Woods golf shirt -- that showed off my chest muscles and a bit too much nipple - a blue golf windbreaker (3/4 sleeve), black socks and Golf Shoes (no hiking boots or sneakers.)
I pulled up to the Country Club and right away I was confronted with a dilemma -- it said valet parking .... I don't like valet parking ... I feel uncomfortable with 'dropping my car off', when the parking lot is literally a 'stones throw' - or in this case - a pitching wedge - from the club. I forgo the valet parking -- park my car and get out my golf bag. That is my "new and light" golf bag - that stands by itself - and that I got from the Internet for $30. Last season I had my 'old, heavy black bag -- that was so heavy that Caddy's 'sighed' when they saw it ---- more about Caddy's later. Before I could lock my car door - a golf cart driven by one of the valet parkers appeared to take me and my clubs to the front door. I'm already 'uncomfortable' and not sure if I should tip or not.
I got to the Country Club 15 minutes early -- sat in a posh chair and tried to look as though I fit in -- after all I was 'dressed to the nine's. No matter -- I felt as though I had a sign that said 'outsider' -- not one of us.
My friend comes - we go to the locker room -- large wood lockers -- attendants ready to take your shoes and shine them , ready for your return. And then he 'breaks the bad news to me.' On Tuesday mornings the club doesn't serve breakfast. This is more of a disappointment than my blog readership may think --- The club's dining room -- and we are talking 'fancier than any restaurant that I've gone to' is noted for their food. Prior breakfasts at the club included omelets, lox/bagels, home baked muffins, challah french toast -- so not having breakfast was a downer. My friend -- being one of the nicest people I know -- goes into the kitchen to find us coffee (tea for me) and some crackers ... We are sitting in this cavernous dining room - with just a handful of other people when my cell phone rings. Until this point - I was just beginning to get comfortable -- I didn't have to worry about spilling something at breakfast -- just my friend and me munching on some crackers. The call was from my office - and I started talking in the dining room. My friend bounded out of his chair -- and remember this is the nicest guy -- and said I had to hang up immediately, which I did. He informed me that talking on a cell phone was one of the worst infractions at the Club --- and told me it was more acceptable to commit sodomy than talk on a cell phone. -- 'if caught' - the member was fined $100 - even if it was his guest that was the culprit. I apologized profusely - hoping that the cell phone police didn't see me.
An older man - deeply tanned - full head of hair - decked out in white pants - a designer polo shirt and a gold chain around his neck -- comes over -- my friend introduces me to "Doc" and he shakes my hand and says "I like getting laid every day." I guess it was better than "I caught you using your cell phone and I'm making a citizen's arrest." He proceeded to tell us in graphic detail that he was 84 y/o and his passion in life was 'fucking.' Doc said that his wife didn't care much for this - so he went to Sterling Lake - where there were plenty of girls. My friend 'politely excused us' -- saying we needed to get to the first tee. Walking out of the club - he said -- by the way - What do you think of our 'membership chair?' Pretty good line I thought.
We have quite a number of psychologists who are regular readers of this blog ... later I found out that "Doc" was indeed a Doctor -- in fact was a preeminent ENT specialist in Westchester. He had a stroke a few years ago and one of the lasting effects was this complete lack of 'filtering' and his obsession with sex. He constantly is approaching women (members, staff) at the club and embarrassing them with his propositions. Our readerhsip would appreciated an assessment of "Doc's condition" and any recommendations you may have.
We go to the starter -- our golf bags are already in our cart (electric - not a pull cart like I always use) and we meet our caddy - Bentley. Bentley is a middle aged man of color -- and since we were riding -- didn't have to carry our bags. Already I felt better about that.
A word about the golf course -- think Botanical Garden -- the landscaping in impeccable -- flower beds in full bloom -- without a weed in sight. The fairways look like carpets and the greens are in pristine condition. The sand in the sand traps look like the pink sand of a Caribbean beach. Have I painted a picture --- this was playing golf in the garden of Eden.
Back to the Caddy -- his job was to make our golf experience as enjoyable as possible. He goes to the middle of the fairway, where he things we can reach and waits for us to swing. (as an aside - with each successive hole, Bentley would move closer in.) There is something a bit disconcerting that we were supposed to a Black man as a target. A caddy has to have eyes like a hawk -- because another job is to follow where our errant balls may be hit .... and more often than not -- my friend and I hit to opposite sides of the fairway. Our caddy had to go back and forth - pointing out our ball. If that wasn't enough -- every time we took a divot -- he would replace the divot and shake some grass seed and soil from a container. (He should have had a wheel barrel for all the gardening that was required from our play.) Raking the sand after we hit -- (these traps were so deep that there were stairs leading down to them) and when we eventually made it to the green -- carrying our putters and showing us where to putt the ball in order to get it in.
Having a caddy is one of the luxuries of golf that I was feeling far too guilty to be able to enjoy.
Readers of past blogs know that quite allot of space is spent on urinary issues -- where to go, how often, and how far to pull one's pants down have all been written about. I am pleased to announce that I was able to contain myself - not go on the course, but rather in the one bathroom that was available at the 7th hole.
The course, in addition to being so well maintained -- was virtually empty. Maybe no breakfasts served on Tuesday is more of a detriment than I might have realized. Our play vacillated - more good shots than bad. After 9 - we went into the clubhouse for lunch (thankfully lunch is served every day) -- the chicken Caesar salad was huge and delicious, served on china and with more than enough wait help to make sure that my glass was always filled. For anyone worried that I missed breakfast - I more than made up for it at lunch. Along with the salad there was an assortment of freshly baked breads.
After a leisurely lunch -- it was onto the back 9. Beautiful day -- more good shots than bad -- but still far to many 'flubs.' Our caddy was terrific and the water holes were the recipients of far too many of my balls.
After our round -- we went to the bar for some drinks (diet coke for me) and a plate of cheese, salami and crackers.
As with Cinderella -- the bewitching time was approaching - where my car turns into a pumpkin and I had to go back to work. Somehow my clubs were cleaned and waiting for me at my car.
I'm pretty sure I didn't leave a glass slipper behind -- but I know my friend will invite me again -- and I hope that I'll be able to enjoy this brief period of 'gluttonous opportunity' without feeling unworthy. After all - I never felt guilty sneaking into Van Cortland Park in the Bronx to play golf.
Life's lesson for today -- it's not easy to turn a sow's ear into a silk purse --- or as was said in West Side Story --- "Stick to your Own Kind". It all is my father's fault -- after all - he owned a small family business in the Bronx -- selling paper supplies and toys. He was approached by the "Family" - (read Mafia) and asked to provide them with glassine envelopes (my father sold them to people who collected stamps) for them to use to package their cocaine. Had my father just gone along with the flow -- he wasn't being asked to fill the envelopes - just to sell them -- perhaps I would have been shown a life beyond stoop ball and stick ball -- learned with side the bread plate and the water is on -- and given an opportunity to 'enjoy' the finer things of life -- like a Country Club.
Peace out --
Dressing for Country Club golf requires a bit of time and thought. The black wind pants - even the dressy ones without the stripes down the legs - wouldn't do. I wore beige dockers, a white Nike Tiger Woods golf shirt -- that showed off my chest muscles and a bit too much nipple - a blue golf windbreaker (3/4 sleeve), black socks and Golf Shoes (no hiking boots or sneakers.)
I pulled up to the Country Club and right away I was confronted with a dilemma -- it said valet parking .... I don't like valet parking ... I feel uncomfortable with 'dropping my car off', when the parking lot is literally a 'stones throw' - or in this case - a pitching wedge - from the club. I forgo the valet parking -- park my car and get out my golf bag. That is my "new and light" golf bag - that stands by itself - and that I got from the Internet for $30. Last season I had my 'old, heavy black bag -- that was so heavy that Caddy's 'sighed' when they saw it ---- more about Caddy's later. Before I could lock my car door - a golf cart driven by one of the valet parkers appeared to take me and my clubs to the front door. I'm already 'uncomfortable' and not sure if I should tip or not.
I got to the Country Club 15 minutes early -- sat in a posh chair and tried to look as though I fit in -- after all I was 'dressed to the nine's. No matter -- I felt as though I had a sign that said 'outsider' -- not one of us.
My friend comes - we go to the locker room -- large wood lockers -- attendants ready to take your shoes and shine them , ready for your return. And then he 'breaks the bad news to me.' On Tuesday mornings the club doesn't serve breakfast. This is more of a disappointment than my blog readership may think --- The club's dining room -- and we are talking 'fancier than any restaurant that I've gone to' is noted for their food. Prior breakfasts at the club included omelets, lox/bagels, home baked muffins, challah french toast -- so not having breakfast was a downer. My friend -- being one of the nicest people I know -- goes into the kitchen to find us coffee (tea for me) and some crackers ... We are sitting in this cavernous dining room - with just a handful of other people when my cell phone rings. Until this point - I was just beginning to get comfortable -- I didn't have to worry about spilling something at breakfast -- just my friend and me munching on some crackers. The call was from my office - and I started talking in the dining room. My friend bounded out of his chair -- and remember this is the nicest guy -- and said I had to hang up immediately, which I did. He informed me that talking on a cell phone was one of the worst infractions at the Club --- and told me it was more acceptable to commit sodomy than talk on a cell phone. -- 'if caught' - the member was fined $100 - even if it was his guest that was the culprit. I apologized profusely - hoping that the cell phone police didn't see me.
An older man - deeply tanned - full head of hair - decked out in white pants - a designer polo shirt and a gold chain around his neck -- comes over -- my friend introduces me to "Doc" and he shakes my hand and says "I like getting laid every day." I guess it was better than "I caught you using your cell phone and I'm making a citizen's arrest." He proceeded to tell us in graphic detail that he was 84 y/o and his passion in life was 'fucking.' Doc said that his wife didn't care much for this - so he went to Sterling Lake - where there were plenty of girls. My friend 'politely excused us' -- saying we needed to get to the first tee. Walking out of the club - he said -- by the way - What do you think of our 'membership chair?' Pretty good line I thought.
We have quite a number of psychologists who are regular readers of this blog ... later I found out that "Doc" was indeed a Doctor -- in fact was a preeminent ENT specialist in Westchester. He had a stroke a few years ago and one of the lasting effects was this complete lack of 'filtering' and his obsession with sex. He constantly is approaching women (members, staff) at the club and embarrassing them with his propositions. Our readerhsip would appreciated an assessment of "Doc's condition" and any recommendations you may have.
We go to the starter -- our golf bags are already in our cart (electric - not a pull cart like I always use) and we meet our caddy - Bentley. Bentley is a middle aged man of color -- and since we were riding -- didn't have to carry our bags. Already I felt better about that.
A word about the golf course -- think Botanical Garden -- the landscaping in impeccable -- flower beds in full bloom -- without a weed in sight. The fairways look like carpets and the greens are in pristine condition. The sand in the sand traps look like the pink sand of a Caribbean beach. Have I painted a picture --- this was playing golf in the garden of Eden.
Back to the Caddy -- his job was to make our golf experience as enjoyable as possible. He goes to the middle of the fairway, where he things we can reach and waits for us to swing. (as an aside - with each successive hole, Bentley would move closer in.) There is something a bit disconcerting that we were supposed to a Black man as a target. A caddy has to have eyes like a hawk -- because another job is to follow where our errant balls may be hit .... and more often than not -- my friend and I hit to opposite sides of the fairway. Our caddy had to go back and forth - pointing out our ball. If that wasn't enough -- every time we took a divot -- he would replace the divot and shake some grass seed and soil from a container. (He should have had a wheel barrel for all the gardening that was required from our play.) Raking the sand after we hit -- (these traps were so deep that there were stairs leading down to them) and when we eventually made it to the green -- carrying our putters and showing us where to putt the ball in order to get it in.
Having a caddy is one of the luxuries of golf that I was feeling far too guilty to be able to enjoy.
Readers of past blogs know that quite allot of space is spent on urinary issues -- where to go, how often, and how far to pull one's pants down have all been written about. I am pleased to announce that I was able to contain myself - not go on the course, but rather in the one bathroom that was available at the 7th hole.
The course, in addition to being so well maintained -- was virtually empty. Maybe no breakfasts served on Tuesday is more of a detriment than I might have realized. Our play vacillated - more good shots than bad. After 9 - we went into the clubhouse for lunch (thankfully lunch is served every day) -- the chicken Caesar salad was huge and delicious, served on china and with more than enough wait help to make sure that my glass was always filled. For anyone worried that I missed breakfast - I more than made up for it at lunch. Along with the salad there was an assortment of freshly baked breads.
After a leisurely lunch -- it was onto the back 9. Beautiful day -- more good shots than bad -- but still far to many 'flubs.' Our caddy was terrific and the water holes were the recipients of far too many of my balls.
After our round -- we went to the bar for some drinks (diet coke for me) and a plate of cheese, salami and crackers.
As with Cinderella -- the bewitching time was approaching - where my car turns into a pumpkin and I had to go back to work. Somehow my clubs were cleaned and waiting for me at my car.
I'm pretty sure I didn't leave a glass slipper behind -- but I know my friend will invite me again -- and I hope that I'll be able to enjoy this brief period of 'gluttonous opportunity' without feeling unworthy. After all - I never felt guilty sneaking into Van Cortland Park in the Bronx to play golf.
Life's lesson for today -- it's not easy to turn a sow's ear into a silk purse --- or as was said in West Side Story --- "Stick to your Own Kind". It all is my father's fault -- after all - he owned a small family business in the Bronx -- selling paper supplies and toys. He was approached by the "Family" - (read Mafia) and asked to provide them with glassine envelopes (my father sold them to people who collected stamps) for them to use to package their cocaine. Had my father just gone along with the flow -- he wasn't being asked to fill the envelopes - just to sell them -- perhaps I would have been shown a life beyond stoop ball and stick ball -- learned with side the bread plate and the water is on -- and given an opportunity to 'enjoy' the finer things of life -- like a Country Club.
Peace out --
Monday, May 5, 2008
The "competition" theme mentioned in Bernie's post, gives a small window into what makes this foursome somewhat unique. Golf can certainly be a contest. There are people that play golf and place a small wager on the outcome. It is not unlike people playing poker for low stakes just to make the game "interesting." Indeed, one time last year, a guest said when we arrived at the 16th hole par 3, "everyone kick in a dollar and the one who lands on the green closest to the hole gets the money." There was stunned silence from the 3 regulars. We don't compete against each other, we compete against the golf course which tries to convince us that the tree in front of us has plenty of space to hit through it and then laughs as the clunk of the ball hitting wood results in a position that is a mere 10 yards further then where we hit it. We all sheepishly handed in our dollars to the guest and reluctantly begun the competition. The result was poetic justice for this group - nobody hit it on the green! The money was returned, and although the original foursome has returned to that hole many times, none have ever suggested that we repeat that wager. The reason is that this group defines the opposite of competition. If one of our members is struggling with their play, the others will offer support or sometimes a joke or even talk about non golf topics to try to help the golfer get back on track. We have all had those times when every shot seems to slice and every putt comes up short. But for this group the "competition" is to make sure that everyone reaches the finish line (18th hole) having had fun and each having some memorable shots. We enjoy it when Barry exclaims, as he did on the first hole 2 weeks ago, "Wow, what a sight, all four balls in the fairway!"
Sunday, May 4, 2008
May 5th: I want to welcome two new readers to our blog --- You can't get Better than these two. Also - thank you to our blogger from Hamilton, NY --- your encouraging words are appreciated.
We start watching the weather on Wed. -- distressed that the reports are for rain Saturday night into Sunday. Will you or won't you .... play in inclement weather. The four of us showed up - the weather was cold and dreary -- and our mood was quiet ... perhaps it was seeing your breath as you approach the first tee that dampened our spirits.
Once again we were faced with another example of confluence of "golf and life". We spend the upcoming week thinking about the first hole -- what we did the prior week - what we were going to try this week .... We think and re-think what club we are going to us ... because that first tee can set the tone for the game. I decided to try a new club after ending up in a grove of trees week after week. I selected a new club -- and looked up at the tee box -- only to see that they had moved the markers where you can tee off -- so much so, that the week of planning, the visioning of what club to use and how the shot would land was for naught. and once again - a truism of life -- "Man plans and God laughs." A new tee box placement required flexibility -- the same way that one has to adapt when 'life throws you a curve."
The game reflected our spirits -- muted -- some good shots -- far too many flubs. There wasn't the reflective comments, the ethical questions, the week's dilemnas as we've had in past weeks. And I realized...perhaps this Blog was an inhibiting factor. A PhD scholar in Rutgers is studying the effects that media has had on all forms of communication ... how ironic -- that this blog, whose creator wanted a vehicle that would capture the vissitudes of life found on a golf course might actually serve to quiet the conversation.
Past blogs document the torment of one of the players -- to engage in a 'victimless crime' -- although are any crimes truly victimless? This same player was questioning the role gender plays in the domestic functions of his foursome. This player was reduced to suggesting a competition: "Who can pee less frequently?" Is it possible that this blog has reduced the conversation to this level of banality? What's next -- "pull my finger before putting?" Before this 'new competition' could begin ... a member of our foursome who is truly the 'moral compass' of this group reminded us that 'he never pees for 18 holes.' This leader of men could easily have gone along with this competition and come out ahead (or not having to use a head) ... but felt a moral calling to tell us that this competition was over before it started. For the huge number of readers who are land locked -- " a head" is a 'bathroom' on a boat.
People have thanked me for the 'fashion review' in last week's blog. Since I value the breadth of our readership's interests -- Richie was lauded for his sleeveless vest that perfectly matched his shirt and pants.
If one measure of one's success is the time in which one finishes a round of golf -- we set a record of the four of us finishing 18 holes in under 4 1/2 hrs -- walking. There is something a bit 'oxymoronic' in looking forward to something for a week -- studying weather patterns -- mapping strategies -- living for the chance to redeem oneself on a hole misplayed - a put missed -- and then to value finishing the round in as short a period as possible. Would a marriage that lasted a shorter period be deemed more successful that one that continues? Readership Comments will be responded to in the order they are received.
And yet -- even a 'depressed outing' has it's surprises. The four of us had an 'informal understanding' that we bring our own food -- and never overstep our bounds by encroaching and eating another's food. (Let me note that without fail - Barry offers a bite of his bagel on the start of the 10th hole -- but only a stranger has ever taken him up on his generous offer.) One brings food from home that is intended to last 18 holes. No-one brings 'extra food.' It's no different than the explorers who climb Mt. Everest -- they need to carry their own supplies - not depend on others ... While it's unlikely that one of us would result to cannibalism during the course of 18 holes -- we don't put another golf in a state of deprivation because we 'eat' his supply. Until today -- when one golfer on the 15th hole indulged and took precious trail mix from a buddy. Luckily - that generous golfer was able to make it through the round -- malnourished but would not give up.
and finally our tee time has been changed -- from a time of 7:42 -- which encourages 'lollygagging' at home to a crisp 6:52 am .... golfers are required to be paid and ready to hit by 6:30 am ... Spring training is over -- real golf starts next week.
This week's take away --- approach life with a sense of purpose and an ability to be flexible. Make plans but don't be 'handcuffed' to those plans. Plans are based on an analysis of the past and prognostication of the future. Like a camellion -- the need to change can be life altering.
"hit them long and straight... or short and true"
Peace out!
We start watching the weather on Wed. -- distressed that the reports are for rain Saturday night into Sunday. Will you or won't you .... play in inclement weather. The four of us showed up - the weather was cold and dreary -- and our mood was quiet ... perhaps it was seeing your breath as you approach the first tee that dampened our spirits.
Once again we were faced with another example of confluence of "golf and life". We spend the upcoming week thinking about the first hole -- what we did the prior week - what we were going to try this week .... We think and re-think what club we are going to us ... because that first tee can set the tone for the game. I decided to try a new club after ending up in a grove of trees week after week. I selected a new club -- and looked up at the tee box -- only to see that they had moved the markers where you can tee off -- so much so, that the week of planning, the visioning of what club to use and how the shot would land was for naught. and once again - a truism of life -- "Man plans and God laughs." A new tee box placement required flexibility -- the same way that one has to adapt when 'life throws you a curve."
The game reflected our spirits -- muted -- some good shots -- far too many flubs. There wasn't the reflective comments, the ethical questions, the week's dilemnas as we've had in past weeks. And I realized...perhaps this Blog was an inhibiting factor. A PhD scholar in Rutgers is studying the effects that media has had on all forms of communication ... how ironic -- that this blog, whose creator wanted a vehicle that would capture the vissitudes of life found on a golf course might actually serve to quiet the conversation.
Past blogs document the torment of one of the players -- to engage in a 'victimless crime' -- although are any crimes truly victimless? This same player was questioning the role gender plays in the domestic functions of his foursome. This player was reduced to suggesting a competition: "Who can pee less frequently?" Is it possible that this blog has reduced the conversation to this level of banality? What's next -- "pull my finger before putting?" Before this 'new competition' could begin ... a member of our foursome who is truly the 'moral compass' of this group reminded us that 'he never pees for 18 holes.' This leader of men could easily have gone along with this competition and come out ahead (or not having to use a head) ... but felt a moral calling to tell us that this competition was over before it started. For the huge number of readers who are land locked -- " a head" is a 'bathroom' on a boat.
People have thanked me for the 'fashion review' in last week's blog. Since I value the breadth of our readership's interests -- Richie was lauded for his sleeveless vest that perfectly matched his shirt and pants.
If one measure of one's success is the time in which one finishes a round of golf -- we set a record of the four of us finishing 18 holes in under 4 1/2 hrs -- walking. There is something a bit 'oxymoronic' in looking forward to something for a week -- studying weather patterns -- mapping strategies -- living for the chance to redeem oneself on a hole misplayed - a put missed -- and then to value finishing the round in as short a period as possible. Would a marriage that lasted a shorter period be deemed more successful that one that continues? Readership Comments will be responded to in the order they are received.
And yet -- even a 'depressed outing' has it's surprises. The four of us had an 'informal understanding' that we bring our own food -- and never overstep our bounds by encroaching and eating another's food. (Let me note that without fail - Barry offers a bite of his bagel on the start of the 10th hole -- but only a stranger has ever taken him up on his generous offer.) One brings food from home that is intended to last 18 holes. No-one brings 'extra food.' It's no different than the explorers who climb Mt. Everest -- they need to carry their own supplies - not depend on others ... While it's unlikely that one of us would result to cannibalism during the course of 18 holes -- we don't put another golf in a state of deprivation because we 'eat' his supply. Until today -- when one golfer on the 15th hole indulged and took precious trail mix from a buddy. Luckily - that generous golfer was able to make it through the round -- malnourished but would not give up.
and finally our tee time has been changed -- from a time of 7:42 -- which encourages 'lollygagging' at home to a crisp 6:52 am .... golfers are required to be paid and ready to hit by 6:30 am ... Spring training is over -- real golf starts next week.
This week's take away --- approach life with a sense of purpose and an ability to be flexible. Make plans but don't be 'handcuffed' to those plans. Plans are based on an analysis of the past and prognostication of the future. Like a camellion -- the need to change can be life altering.
"hit them long and straight... or short and true"
Peace out!
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