you are not going to believe this but ....

Sunday -- according to the weather forecasters - showers in the afternoon - starting around 2. Since our tee time is now a 'lazy' 7:30 am .... no problem ... unless the weather men/women are wrong and it's raining hard for the first 9 holes. It gets so that it's impossible to get a firm grasp on your club (an important factor in today's blog.)

It was to the the original four -- until Barry hurt his back and Michael (the son, not the friend) substituted. The course was under water .... not surprising since this is monsoon season in NY. The vital statistics -- we played in a very reasonable 4 hrs and 25 minutes and the only thing worse than the weather was my game. I was hooking every shot -- to the point that I yearned for my slice. The best part about today was that my $10 golf shoes (purchased on our trip last week-end at a garage sale) kept my feet dry.

On the fifth hole, Michael accomplished something that I'd bet money no other golfer - including the professionals have done. He was about 90 yards away from the pin -- far enough off the fairway that there was a line of trees that he'd have to contend with. Remembering the weather conditions -- it's pouring, the golf club grip is wet, your hands are wet, and just when you think you've seen it all .... Michael takes a swing with a pitching wedge and the club flies out of his hand. Nothing surprising about this -- how many times do you see a baseball batter lose his grip and send the bat flying. Michael is behind the tree line, takes a full swing and the club flies out of his hand. And if this was mad libs - I'd ask you to fill in what happened next. Since it's not - I'll give you 3 guesses:

1. the club hits another golfer
2. the club goes through the windshield of the golf cart
3. the club gets stuck in a tree - approximately 20 feet from the ground.

YOU MAY NOT BELIEVE THIS BUT .... the answer is #3. The club gets caught in a high branch and won't come down. Michael being very innovative took off his sneaker and started throwing it up to dislodge the club. And guess what happened .... YOU MAY NOT BELIEVE THIS BUT ... the sneaker got stuck in the same tree, but slightly below his club. It's one thing to play without a pitching wedge -- quite another to play wearing only one sneaker. By standing on the cart and using a ball retrieve and a bit of luck - Les was able to get Michael's sneaker down from the tree. However, the club was significantly higher up in the tree and wasn't budging.

It's almost irrelevant what happened for the rest of the round .... Michael's club was stuck in the high branches of a tree. A few holes later, Les being the type of Dad that would do anything for his boys realized that he too was missing his pitching wedge. Les figures he left it at the hole that Michael 'treed his club.'

All's well that end's well -- except my golf game - which ended considerably better than it started, but that didn't stop me from having second thoughts about my continuation with this game. The HAPPY ENDING occured when Michael took a suggestion from Captain rich and while we were on the 2nd hole, (really the 11th hole) took Richie's ball retriever which extends to about 25 feet - went back to the hole - with the pitching wedge looking very much like a weather vane firmly in hand. And not to be undone -- Les was reacquainted with his pitching wedge after our round .... some good sole handed it to the starter.

Michael --- this feat of yours places you in the annals of Saxon woods lore and certainly the newscasters, who all read this blog, will be inviting you to appear on their morning shows .

and one more YOU WON'T BELIEVE THIS BUT .... Saturday mornings at the gym -- my favorite instructor teaches (Ellen), it's at a normal time - 8 am ... not the UGLY 6am start time like on the week-days. I signed up for Barry and me ... called Barry that morning only to find out that he was paying a visit to Dean - self proclaimed King of Chiropractors. I got there early - saved two bikes (one for by gym buddy) - and went off to do some lifting. I saw Jodi and told her that I saved a bike for her --- I'm always looking for ways to 'pay back' Jodi for all she does for me -- but she informed me that she had a tennis game. Jodi is a serious and quite accomplished golfer. It's 8:05 ... we are getting restless ... not like Ellen -- someone knew she was going on vacation - but the expectation was that she got a sub. It's 8:20 and people are leaving ... not me - I still had faith. And just like Michael's club wouldn't come down -- either would a substitute teacher -- and we were left feeling double d'd .... depressed and devastated.

I am scheduled to play with my HR director and her husband on Tuesday. A bit concerned that if I play on Tuesday the way I played today --- I'll be the butt of a few jokes. Next week is the Dr's graduation which we will be going to -- so Captain R will ably do the blog.

Hope you can do what I can't -- hit your drives long and straight and keep your putts short and true. (and watch for falling clubs from the tree - can be hazardous to your health.)

Chipster OUT!