Is there anyone on this planet who finds the 'noise' made by the vuvuzelas anything but annoying? (for the unenlightened - a vuvuzela is a horn that is blown constantly throughout a soccer match - 90+minutes - which sounds like a zillion bees attacking. One has to discipline oneself to follow the play and not be distracted by the noise.
When you think about it - doesn't this happen in all aspects of life -- you need to figure out what is the 'background noise', put it in its place and focus on what is important. As with the world cup - focusing on the vuvuzelas takes away from the enjoyment of the game -- and focusing on the background noise of life diminishes experiencing what really matters.
It comes down to surrounding yourself with people who care, who are uplifting and part of 'your village.' To paraphrase my neighbor from Chappaqua - it takes a village - not just to raise a child, but to help you cope during times of adversity as well as joining in the celebrations of the good times.
It didn't get better than to have Dr. C join me at the gym - experience the special bond that brings people together at 4:45 am and join my best buddy and me doing the elliptical, pumping and a spin class -- all before 7:00 am.
It was great golfing with my brother from a different mother, wishing our triplet could have joined us as we experienced the new and improved Saxon Woods, instead of chasing cows down the streets of Bombay. What made it a perfect day was the warm greeting I got from Dom - (regular readers of the blog will know who he is) - and sharing a round with a real good guy who is a neophyte, but will soon be scoring in double figures.
Most important - I treasure the friendship, caring and concern of all the important people in my life -- during this challenging time as my father once again is doing battle in the ring. I have every confidence that he'll beat this latest opponent as he has the others.
- and the moral of today's blog Crusader Rabbit is to see beyond the 'noise' of the every day vuvuzelas and appreciate the real game on the field.
I'll be chasing grizzlies and staring down moose for the next few days - but have every confidence that our Captain will keep us on course, my gym buddy will succeed in getting this awful spin policy changed and CKP will put this org review document to bed.
MAX OUT!
(btw - there are times that we could all use a vuvuzela ... please submit a situation where you wish you had one --- and our editorial board will vote on the best one. Prize to be announced.
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Support is Fleeting
Moses was a reluctant leader - appointed by the highest authority - and inflicted with a disability that made him self-conscious. As he went up Mount (biblical scholars please fill in) to receive the 10 Commandments, his followers lost their faith. They went back to worshipping the golden idols. Moses returned with the 10 Commandments and was so upset with what he saw - that his supporters deserted him at the first sign of trouble - he threw the 10 Commandments down and they broke.
While the only similarity I have with Moses is a disability, mine has prevented me from using the top locker - I do know what it is like to lose the support of the followers. I was a reluctant leader in this fight against the oppressive Sports Club, organizing e-mail campaigns, hunger strikes and smear campaigns about those members too lazy to come to the gym at 5 am and yet had the audacity to complain when they were locked out of class. I felt energized by the early support - which I know discover that their support is fleeting: My 'spin group' is losing faith. They have been co opted by the "Man" (or in this case the General Manager (woman), and lulled into thinking that this new policy isn't so bad. Even my gym buddy seems to be accepting of this change - as she determined it was no longer worthwhile to distribute the sample e-mail that needed to be sent to Corporate. I am alone in this quest - having lost the confidence of the 'spin community.' Speaking of community - the Captain of our golf team felt the solution was for me to 'give up my spinning' in the morning and appear 20 minutes before class at night. A simple, outcome oriented solution that totally disregarded the notion of 'caring community' that I thought existed amongst us 4:45 am gym rats. My hope is that a 'burning bush' or talking spin bike will proved the motivation that is needed to once again rally the rats.
For those who are tired of my whining about spin class - our golf game was 'record-breaking' today. We played the round in under 4 1/2 hours ... mostly thanks to Michael (club in the tree - see last year's blog) who ran up to the tee - took no practice swings - and no prisoners - as he hit the ball 250 yards ...... Les, who has a patten pending on the between the legs, backward putt, also doesn't believe in practice swings. He had a great round, as did our Captain (the result oriented person he is) who demonstrated excellent golf course management. I am proud to state that I did not lose a ball all round -- hard to do so when I averaged about 50 feet a swing.
While I didn't accomplish much with my clubs, I did with my feet. In an example of thinking ahead to a hiking trip 2 weeks from now, I utilized my time management and multi-tasking skills by wearing my hiking boots instead of golf shoes. I wanted to see if my feet hurt while wearing them without orthotics. What better time to try than on a golf course, where the average round is approximately 8 miles. While I may not have been a fashion Deva - golf shirt, shorts and hiking shoes with knee high socks - I determined hiking shoes without orthodox was just fine.
It was a sad farewell we bid to John - the starter at Maple Moore - as this is the last round we will play on this unforgiving course. Saxon Woods - which has been under repair since forever, is scheduled to open tomorrow. As Moses wasn't allowed to lead his people into the promised land, our Captain is also not able to lead us onto Saxon Woods, as he is traveling to India, in search of the perfect curry. Our ability to get to the new course at the appropriate time (8:09) will be severely tested without the reminder e-mail that I hope Captain R. will remember to send.
Who knows - a new course - perhaps a new outcome .... hope springs eternal when it comes to golf --- even as the movement to modify the spin policy is fading into the abyss.
Travel safe "O'Captain, My captain" .... (can someone tell us the name of the poet?)
An added feature of this blog will be restaurant tips: I'd like to give a special shout out to a restaurant in Williamsburg (Brooklyn, not Virginia) called "Thighs and Pies." It has been noted in all the papers and blogs as the new "in place' to eat -- and has been voted as one of the 10 best places to have fried chicken. The chicken was indeed excellent, the biscuit melts in your mouth and the pies we sampled (lemon meringue, chocolate, and apple), lived up to their reputation. I suggest getting there at 4:45 PM - as the restaurant is closed from 4-5 to turn over from brunch to dinner. The line forms quickly so be early .... although it is certainly worth the wait. This tip is offered in honor of my most loyal reader who won't believe that I left the confines of Westchester, travelled to Manhattan to pick up another couple and set off for the wilds of Williamsburg.
Good luck to the Amandas (and Daniel) on their recent and ongoing moves into their new homes and a get well wish goes to our favorite 'Big Guy'.
Peace Out - Max
While the only similarity I have with Moses is a disability, mine has prevented me from using the top locker - I do know what it is like to lose the support of the followers. I was a reluctant leader in this fight against the oppressive Sports Club, organizing e-mail campaigns, hunger strikes and smear campaigns about those members too lazy to come to the gym at 5 am and yet had the audacity to complain when they were locked out of class. I felt energized by the early support - which I know discover that their support is fleeting: My 'spin group' is losing faith. They have been co opted by the "Man" (or in this case the General Manager (woman), and lulled into thinking that this new policy isn't so bad. Even my gym buddy seems to be accepting of this change - as she determined it was no longer worthwhile to distribute the sample e-mail that needed to be sent to Corporate. I am alone in this quest - having lost the confidence of the 'spin community.' Speaking of community - the Captain of our golf team felt the solution was for me to 'give up my spinning' in the morning and appear 20 minutes before class at night. A simple, outcome oriented solution that totally disregarded the notion of 'caring community' that I thought existed amongst us 4:45 am gym rats. My hope is that a 'burning bush' or talking spin bike will proved the motivation that is needed to once again rally the rats.
For those who are tired of my whining about spin class - our golf game was 'record-breaking' today. We played the round in under 4 1/2 hours ... mostly thanks to Michael (club in the tree - see last year's blog) who ran up to the tee - took no practice swings - and no prisoners - as he hit the ball 250 yards ...... Les, who has a patten pending on the between the legs, backward putt, also doesn't believe in practice swings. He had a great round, as did our Captain (the result oriented person he is) who demonstrated excellent golf course management. I am proud to state that I did not lose a ball all round -- hard to do so when I averaged about 50 feet a swing.
While I didn't accomplish much with my clubs, I did with my feet. In an example of thinking ahead to a hiking trip 2 weeks from now, I utilized my time management and multi-tasking skills by wearing my hiking boots instead of golf shoes. I wanted to see if my feet hurt while wearing them without orthotics. What better time to try than on a golf course, where the average round is approximately 8 miles. While I may not have been a fashion Deva - golf shirt, shorts and hiking shoes with knee high socks - I determined hiking shoes without orthodox was just fine.
It was a sad farewell we bid to John - the starter at Maple Moore - as this is the last round we will play on this unforgiving course. Saxon Woods - which has been under repair since forever, is scheduled to open tomorrow. As Moses wasn't allowed to lead his people into the promised land, our Captain is also not able to lead us onto Saxon Woods, as he is traveling to India, in search of the perfect curry. Our ability to get to the new course at the appropriate time (8:09) will be severely tested without the reminder e-mail that I hope Captain R. will remember to send.
Who knows - a new course - perhaps a new outcome .... hope springs eternal when it comes to golf --- even as the movement to modify the spin policy is fading into the abyss.
Travel safe "O'Captain, My captain" .... (can someone tell us the name of the poet?)
An added feature of this blog will be restaurant tips: I'd like to give a special shout out to a restaurant in Williamsburg (Brooklyn, not Virginia) called "Thighs and Pies." It has been noted in all the papers and blogs as the new "in place' to eat -- and has been voted as one of the 10 best places to have fried chicken. The chicken was indeed excellent, the biscuit melts in your mouth and the pies we sampled (lemon meringue, chocolate, and apple), lived up to their reputation. I suggest getting there at 4:45 PM - as the restaurant is closed from 4-5 to turn over from brunch to dinner. The line forms quickly so be early .... although it is certainly worth the wait. This tip is offered in honor of my most loyal reader who won't believe that I left the confines of Westchester, travelled to Manhattan to pick up another couple and set off for the wilds of Williamsburg.
Good luck to the Amandas (and Daniel) on their recent and ongoing moves into their new homes and a get well wish goes to our favorite 'Big Guy'.
Peace Out - Max
Monday, June 7, 2010
It's Always Darkest Before the Dawn
and it was DARK this morning .... dark when I got out of bed at 4 am ... after a fitful night's sleep and even DARKER when I go to the gym at 4:40 am and met up with the rest of the spin community. The friendly atmosphere, the catching up since we didn't see each other since Sunday morning gym, the usual community atmosphere was missing. Instead there was the quiet whispers of what lay ahead -- separated by the two glass doors and the wave to come into the gym. The trepidation we felt was palpable.
and then the doors opened and we were greeted by the 'usually smiling' young women who work the front desk. My heart went out to these 'kids' for it was clear that they didn't like the role they were in .... the need to be the 'corporate messenger' as we were instructed NOT to enter the spin room. Fortunately, I was able to control a few of the hot heads in the spin community who were ready to make these young women (the same people who would sign us up without our asking) into the 'enemy.' It wasn't easy - and took all my professional training to talk these activists down and help them to redirect their anger to "THE MAN" -- or in this case the General Manager - who is this very attractive blonde - a former body builder and is a very intimidating figure in her black work out outfit with the words "MASTER TRAINER" emblazoned on her jacket.
We dispersed and went on our various machines --- keeping one eye on the clock and one eye on the line that started forming by the sign in desk (not the spin room) at 5:30 am for a 5:40 registration. My gym buddy and I dispensed with our small talk as we had to make a strategic decision whether or leave our machines even earlier to get on the line. We chose NOT to -- and as a result - at 5:40 am - we were in the back of a long line -- having cut our exercise short by 10 minutes. Some of you may not think this is a big deal - but do you realize that in 10 minutes we can burn on average 150 calories. Multiply that by 7 and during the course of the year we are talking about close to 18.5 lbs of fat not burned. (Research provided by our newly appointed Director of Research - CKP - determined that it takes approximately 3,000 calories to burn 1 lb of fat.)
My buddy and I got on the end of the line and they marched us - single file - passed the front desk to the spin room - where we had to give our name to a NEW staff member. It was reminiscent of being back in second grade - there was no talking on line - and the only difference was there wasn't a wall we had to walk next to (and the fact that there were some sweaty people on line.) Name by Name was taken and people proceeded into the spin room.
And then it was our turn. My buddy went in quietly - but I had to open my mouth - voice quavering - and told the General Manager that I had to cut my work out short - and she as a "MASTER TRAINER" can understand the downside of doing that. She gave me a nod of her head and I proceeded into the room only to discover ........ and you know what happened next ...
SOMEONE HAD TAKEN MY BIKE. He was a stranger - not a regular - that would have been given unforgivable. As I walked into the room - a strange silence descended - as I walked past my bike - past the back row where I have sat forever - onto a new bike - I felt the collective sense of defeat.
After the class - I was working at the chest press machine when the General Manager came over. (I certainly wish I was pumping more weight that the 5 lbs that I was struggling to lift.) She told me she couldn't talk to me when I was on line - but that she certainly understood and was sympathetic to my situation. She said that corporate is insisting that she try this for 30 days - but implied she may re-evaluate sooner than that. I asked if there was any way we could influence her decision -- probably not the best choice of words given how that can be construed -- but she answered very professionally and said that she is collecting e-mails and will share that with Corporate.
Tomorrow is another decision day - I used to go to the gym - drop off my stuff and run the streets of Dobbs - getting back in time for class. I can't do that - and be guaranteed a spot - since there is no saving bikes. My plan is to get up at 3:30 am and go for a run prior to getting to the gym at 4:45 and mobilizing the troops to engage in another rounds of e-mails.
I'm beaten down but not BEAT. As long as there is a modicum of hope for changing this blatantly discriminatory policy (discrimination against the 5 am gym rats) I will persevere.
Your ongoing concern and support is my lifeline - please keep those comments coming.
MAX OUT.
and then the doors opened and we were greeted by the 'usually smiling' young women who work the front desk. My heart went out to these 'kids' for it was clear that they didn't like the role they were in .... the need to be the 'corporate messenger' as we were instructed NOT to enter the spin room. Fortunately, I was able to control a few of the hot heads in the spin community who were ready to make these young women (the same people who would sign us up without our asking) into the 'enemy.' It wasn't easy - and took all my professional training to talk these activists down and help them to redirect their anger to "THE MAN" -- or in this case the General Manager - who is this very attractive blonde - a former body builder and is a very intimidating figure in her black work out outfit with the words "MASTER TRAINER" emblazoned on her jacket.
We dispersed and went on our various machines --- keeping one eye on the clock and one eye on the line that started forming by the sign in desk (not the spin room) at 5:30 am for a 5:40 registration. My gym buddy and I dispensed with our small talk as we had to make a strategic decision whether or leave our machines even earlier to get on the line. We chose NOT to -- and as a result - at 5:40 am - we were in the back of a long line -- having cut our exercise short by 10 minutes. Some of you may not think this is a big deal - but do you realize that in 10 minutes we can burn on average 150 calories. Multiply that by 7 and during the course of the year we are talking about close to 18.5 lbs of fat not burned. (Research provided by our newly appointed Director of Research - CKP - determined that it takes approximately 3,000 calories to burn 1 lb of fat.)
My buddy and I got on the end of the line and they marched us - single file - passed the front desk to the spin room - where we had to give our name to a NEW staff member. It was reminiscent of being back in second grade - there was no talking on line - and the only difference was there wasn't a wall we had to walk next to (and the fact that there were some sweaty people on line.) Name by Name was taken and people proceeded into the spin room.
And then it was our turn. My buddy went in quietly - but I had to open my mouth - voice quavering - and told the General Manager that I had to cut my work out short - and she as a "MASTER TRAINER" can understand the downside of doing that. She gave me a nod of her head and I proceeded into the room only to discover ........ and you know what happened next ...
SOMEONE HAD TAKEN MY BIKE. He was a stranger - not a regular - that would have been given unforgivable. As I walked into the room - a strange silence descended - as I walked past my bike - past the back row where I have sat forever - onto a new bike - I felt the collective sense of defeat.
After the class - I was working at the chest press machine when the General Manager came over. (I certainly wish I was pumping more weight that the 5 lbs that I was struggling to lift.) She told me she couldn't talk to me when I was on line - but that she certainly understood and was sympathetic to my situation. She said that corporate is insisting that she try this for 30 days - but implied she may re-evaluate sooner than that. I asked if there was any way we could influence her decision -- probably not the best choice of words given how that can be construed -- but she answered very professionally and said that she is collecting e-mails and will share that with Corporate.
Tomorrow is another decision day - I used to go to the gym - drop off my stuff and run the streets of Dobbs - getting back in time for class. I can't do that - and be guaranteed a spot - since there is no saving bikes. My plan is to get up at 3:30 am and go for a run prior to getting to the gym at 4:45 and mobilizing the troops to engage in another rounds of e-mails.
I'm beaten down but not BEAT. As long as there is a modicum of hope for changing this blatantly discriminatory policy (discrimination against the 5 am gym rats) I will persevere.
Your ongoing concern and support is my lifeline - please keep those comments coming.
MAX OUT.
Sunday, June 6, 2010
T minus 10
Exactly 10 hours and the 'new' sign in policy for spin class takes effect. The anxiety was palpable on line this morning (Sunday) as we tried to scam the system by taking advantage of a 'new kid' behind the desk and asking her to sign us in for tomorrow (Monday) saying the policy doesn't take place until tomorrow .... no luck.
I know those in the military must feel this way before going into battle and I am certainly not comparing the ordeal we are about to confront with armed combat; nor do I necessarily equate the tightness in my chest, the flip flops my stomach is doing with the feelings one may have just prior to surgery ..... but never the less .... this is quite anxiety provoking. What piece of equipment do I use - knowing that the latest I can stay on the machine is 5:40 am? Do I pick the equipment based on the best location to keep an eye on the sign up line?
Can I mobilize my fellow 5:45 am spinners to engage in a serious e-mail campaign on Monday afternoon --- and enlist the support of their friends and families? I am hopeful I'll be able to maintain my composure and not do anything that will embarrass myself and my family. Stay tuned.
As far as golf -- last week our Captain played an outstanding round -- with his putter being 'on fire' - he shot a 'true' 94 ..... not one tainted by mulligans, lost balls that didn't count as strokes or the occasional foot strike.
I had a break through and went out on the course as a single.....me - the person who can't go to a diner and have breakfast by myself for fear of looking like a 'lonely old man.' I played well enough not to embarrass myself - and only occasionally failed to respond to my name (MAX).
Assuming I'm not in jail - I'm looking forward to joining our foursome next Sunday. Tomorrow will be a pivotal day for the rest of my life.
Max (but hopefully not Maximum Security) Out.
I know those in the military must feel this way before going into battle and I am certainly not comparing the ordeal we are about to confront with armed combat; nor do I necessarily equate the tightness in my chest, the flip flops my stomach is doing with the feelings one may have just prior to surgery ..... but never the less .... this is quite anxiety provoking. What piece of equipment do I use - knowing that the latest I can stay on the machine is 5:40 am? Do I pick the equipment based on the best location to keep an eye on the sign up line?
Can I mobilize my fellow 5:45 am spinners to engage in a serious e-mail campaign on Monday afternoon --- and enlist the support of their friends and families? I am hopeful I'll be able to maintain my composure and not do anything that will embarrass myself and my family. Stay tuned.
As far as golf -- last week our Captain played an outstanding round -- with his putter being 'on fire' - he shot a 'true' 94 ..... not one tainted by mulligans, lost balls that didn't count as strokes or the occasional foot strike.
I had a break through and went out on the course as a single.....me - the person who can't go to a diner and have breakfast by myself for fear of looking like a 'lonely old man.' I played well enough not to embarrass myself - and only occasionally failed to respond to my name (MAX).
Assuming I'm not in jail - I'm looking forward to joining our foursome next Sunday. Tomorrow will be a pivotal day for the rest of my life.
Max (but hopefully not Maximum Security) Out.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
IF YOUR SHAKE THE BUSHES
BE PREPARED TO HANDLE THE SNAKES .... and that is what's happening at the gym. There are multiple pronged approaches to fight the oppression of the 'suits' and we won't stop until the unjust policy of spin sign ups 20 minutes before class is repealed. After hearing my credentials - I was a Marshall at a Grateful Dead Concert at Harpur College - (who knows what university this is part of?) and I did participate in numerous anti-war demonstrations back in the late 60's/70's, mostly to get out of school and try to meet caring, sensitive like minded 'hippie girls' in Tye died tee shirts ..... and yes I'm not proud of this behavior but at least I'm not claiming to be a Vietnam veteran, as an elected official in a neighboring state - 5 points for naming the state, 10 points for giving his name, and 25 points if you know the branch of the military he did serve along with the correct answers to the other two questions.
We started an e-mail campaign -and to the manager's credit - she responds to each e-mail with the same 'corporate speak' claiming this is a pilot project. Concurrently, an attorney crafted a proposal - in typical legalese, taking 6 paragraphs instead of three sentences to get our point across. There is rumblings of the need for civil disobedience - everything from sit ins to putting gum in the gears of the spin bike. I'm going to do my best to keep things peaceful, but with tempers flaring, anything is possible. If we don't take a stand now - who knows what the next step the corporation will take .... pay toilets, which is nothing more than a tax on a G-d given right. Stay tuned ... showdown is June 7th. The gym staff - trainers, front desk, management are stockpiling weapons and the early morning spinners are learning the words to We Shall Overcome. It's going to get allot uglier.
For those readers who complained that there wasn't enough golf in last week's blog, my apologies. I'm trying to shorten the blogs in preparation for starting to tweet. We faced a predicament this week since Barry, Richie and I were involved in a charity race, one which we wished never had to happen. We did find an alternative time to play on Saturday at 2 PM , without affecting anyone's personal preference to attend services, so please don't send the Shabbot police to close down the blog. We played at Sprain, which is a bit like playing in the wild kingdom. There are geese and baby geese (geeselings?) all over. Just as the title of this blog indicates - don't shake the bushes or else ...... don't hit a golf ball into a family of geese, unless you want to anger a mom/dad goose who will flap his wings and start hissing at you. There were also birds, muskrats, squirrels, chipmunks all mocking us as we traipse after this little white ball.
We all showed continued improvement on the course. Lost our fourth (Joe) after 9 and Barry after 12. Captain Rich navigated the course expertly (not unlike Sully) and had us play holes 7, 8, and 9 rather than 16, 17, and 18, given the slow moving foursome in front of us. (For us to complain about another group playing too slow is quite unusual.) Dan - if you are surreptitiously, (good SAT word), reading this blog to see if you are mentioned, I want you to know the Captain is using a weighted glove to help his swing. He'd be happy to share the dvd and instruction book with you. We figure you could buy the glove, use it this season and then return it for a full refund. (See reference to previous year's blog - passover table and chairs.)
Speaking of which - do you know this is my third year of blogging - close to 75 entries and I still DON'T HAVE A TV SITCOM. Can you believe some nothing tweets about the grousing of an old man is being turned into a show .... and this material that rivals anything that you've seen on Mash, Seinfeld, The Office, or Channel 5 news .... Well I can't and I'm not going to take it anymore. Be advised - unless I get feedback that leads to greater interest on the part of advertisers and then my own show, then I can't guarantee that you'll have this blogger around to kick too much longer. (another political reference - tell us whom this is referring to.)
Since my drives are now consistently longer than my putts, my next task is to stop killing so many worms with shots from the fairway. (Honest injun - that's probably not PC is it? - I had a worm on my ball that I was putting last week - and was not allowed to remove it without taking a stroke.
Savor this blog - it may be the last.
Max OUT.
We started an e-mail campaign -and to the manager's credit - she responds to each e-mail with the same 'corporate speak' claiming this is a pilot project. Concurrently, an attorney crafted a proposal - in typical legalese, taking 6 paragraphs instead of three sentences to get our point across. There is rumblings of the need for civil disobedience - everything from sit ins to putting gum in the gears of the spin bike. I'm going to do my best to keep things peaceful, but with tempers flaring, anything is possible. If we don't take a stand now - who knows what the next step the corporation will take .... pay toilets, which is nothing more than a tax on a G-d given right. Stay tuned ... showdown is June 7th. The gym staff - trainers, front desk, management are stockpiling weapons and the early morning spinners are learning the words to We Shall Overcome. It's going to get allot uglier.
For those readers who complained that there wasn't enough golf in last week's blog, my apologies. I'm trying to shorten the blogs in preparation for starting to tweet. We faced a predicament this week since Barry, Richie and I were involved in a charity race, one which we wished never had to happen. We did find an alternative time to play on Saturday at 2 PM , without affecting anyone's personal preference to attend services, so please don't send the Shabbot police to close down the blog. We played at Sprain, which is a bit like playing in the wild kingdom. There are geese and baby geese (geeselings?) all over. Just as the title of this blog indicates - don't shake the bushes or else ...... don't hit a golf ball into a family of geese, unless you want to anger a mom/dad goose who will flap his wings and start hissing at you. There were also birds, muskrats, squirrels, chipmunks all mocking us as we traipse after this little white ball.
We all showed continued improvement on the course. Lost our fourth (Joe) after 9 and Barry after 12. Captain Rich navigated the course expertly (not unlike Sully) and had us play holes 7, 8, and 9 rather than 16, 17, and 18, given the slow moving foursome in front of us. (For us to complain about another group playing too slow is quite unusual.) Dan - if you are surreptitiously, (good SAT word), reading this blog to see if you are mentioned, I want you to know the Captain is using a weighted glove to help his swing. He'd be happy to share the dvd and instruction book with you. We figure you could buy the glove, use it this season and then return it for a full refund. (See reference to previous year's blog - passover table and chairs.)
Speaking of which - do you know this is my third year of blogging - close to 75 entries and I still DON'T HAVE A TV SITCOM. Can you believe some nothing tweets about the grousing of an old man is being turned into a show .... and this material that rivals anything that you've seen on Mash, Seinfeld, The Office, or Channel 5 news .... Well I can't and I'm not going to take it anymore. Be advised - unless I get feedback that leads to greater interest on the part of advertisers and then my own show, then I can't guarantee that you'll have this blogger around to kick too much longer. (another political reference - tell us whom this is referring to.)
Since my drives are now consistently longer than my putts, my next task is to stop killing so many worms with shots from the fairway. (Honest injun - that's probably not PC is it? - I had a worm on my ball that I was putting last week - and was not allowed to remove it without taking a stroke.
Savor this blog - it may be the last.
Max OUT.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Dobbs Ferry Gym RATS RALLY
If you think the Tea Party was a phenomena created because of the disgruntled populace banding together to speak out against big government, or that the riots in Bangkok where the " have nots" are rioting against the "haves"are is newsworthy (front page of the NY Times), you haven't seen anything yet. There is a groundswell of opposition against the announced change in policy to take place effective June 7th at the Dobbs Ferry gym. The management must be in bed with those 'la de da' pseudo gym people who come to the gym right before spin and think they have the G-d Given, unalienable right to get a bike and have proclaimed that there will be NO MORE signing up one day in advance, and EVEN WORSE ... you can only sign up 20 minutes in advance for a spin class. That means that the hard working gym grunts that line up at 4:45 am every morning to get in their 58 minutes of exercise before spin class (there is a ridiculous rule that you have to be on your bike 2 minutes before the start of a class -- and can't leave the room for any reason - including going to the bathroom with getting a pass from the spin instructor (see previous blog) will have to stop their exercising 20 minutes earlier to stand on line to sign up for a class. Those 20 minutes of exercise time is precious to us working class stiffs .... remember the days of Max who would open the door at 5:50 am because he was 'one of us.' Remember what they did to him? And needless to say - this will be the end of the nascent running club --- whose members would arrive 15 minutes before the gym opened, wait on line, deposit their belongings in their favorite lockers - (remember we are the working class who are not 'gymming at leisure and going out to Starbucks for our morning coffee after our workout), put a towel on our bikes (always the same one) and then go for our run -- which was carefully timed to get us back to the gym in time for the 2 minute class warning bell to ring.
This is a carefully constructed plot by the gym elite - those with the matching tops and shorts - those who never really sweat, but glisten to stick it to the proletariat. We've been pushed before - we've accepted the nonsensical changing around all the gym equipment for no reason other than for management to flex their muscles .... but they have gone too far.
I have proudly participated in civil rights marches in the early 60's when I was barely old enough to walk, protested against the war in Vietnam, even if it meant missing classes, stopped consuming tons of red meat - because cows are our brothers - but nothing like the actions I'm prepared to take if this ill-begotten policy is not changed.
To my faithful readers I make this pledge -- if come June 7th - I am NOT allowed to pursue my rights guaranteed to my under the Constitution of this fine Country and work out without stopping 20 minutes early for fear of not spinning .... then I declare to all my readers around the world that I will join the other great leaders - Max Fielding and the news anchor who prefers that I not use his name - but his cry of "I'm fed up and I won't take this anymore" - and promise to do the following, without regard to the consequences .....
I will BURN MY GYM MEMBERSHIP!!!!
BTW - golf was fine - Neil didn't get into any altercations, Les had the shot of the day - chipping in from off the green, Rich played his usual solid game and on most holes, my drives were longer than my putts.
I will be selling tee shirts and organizing marches on the Dobbs Ferry gym if indeed the Secretary of State - who obviously has a personal interest in the injustices happening in her home state - doesn't get the tyrants who run the gym to listen to the 'little guy' - the hard working, sweat producing drones who tirelessly come to the gym and look the other way at the dust balls that are now larger than the basketballs. We cannot afford to be silent any longer.
POWER TO THE GYM RATS!
a very angry but determined Max - out.
This is a carefully constructed plot by the gym elite - those with the matching tops and shorts - those who never really sweat, but glisten to stick it to the proletariat. We've been pushed before - we've accepted the nonsensical changing around all the gym equipment for no reason other than for management to flex their muscles .... but they have gone too far.
I have proudly participated in civil rights marches in the early 60's when I was barely old enough to walk, protested against the war in Vietnam, even if it meant missing classes, stopped consuming tons of red meat - because cows are our brothers - but nothing like the actions I'm prepared to take if this ill-begotten policy is not changed.
To my faithful readers I make this pledge -- if come June 7th - I am NOT allowed to pursue my rights guaranteed to my under the Constitution of this fine Country and work out without stopping 20 minutes early for fear of not spinning .... then I declare to all my readers around the world that I will join the other great leaders - Max Fielding and the news anchor who prefers that I not use his name - but his cry of "I'm fed up and I won't take this anymore" - and promise to do the following, without regard to the consequences .....
I will BURN MY GYM MEMBERSHIP!!!!
BTW - golf was fine - Neil didn't get into any altercations, Les had the shot of the day - chipping in from off the green, Rich played his usual solid game and on most holes, my drives were longer than my putts.
I will be selling tee shirts and organizing marches on the Dobbs Ferry gym if indeed the Secretary of State - who obviously has a personal interest in the injustices happening in her home state - doesn't get the tyrants who run the gym to listen to the 'little guy' - the hard working, sweat producing drones who tirelessly come to the gym and look the other way at the dust balls that are now larger than the basketballs. We cannot afford to be silent any longer.
POWER TO THE GYM RATS!
a very angry but determined Max - out.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
"IF I WERE A RICH MAN"
I would hire someone to ghost write my blog .... I apologize for not blogging for 2 weeks ..... truth be told - not much to say.
The two prior Sundays were polar opposites in terms of weather. Two weeks ago it was 90 and humid, last week it was in the 40's with wind gusts equalling the temperature. The only thing that was consistent for the past two weeks was my game .... which was so bad that if I knew how to - I would have put my clubs up for sale on E-Bay. Perhaps the most noteworthy thing is that Les is slowly but surely being outfitted by the Maple Moore golf shop .... having bought a black Maple Moore golf hat one week (the hot day) and a new black golf glove the next week (when it was snowing.) Other than Neil almost getting beat up because he had the audacity to pick up a golf ball on our fairway - and not seeing anyone around - pocket it. A couple of thugs playing on the fairway next to ours wanted his head because they were playing for money and it was one of their balls that Neil 'stole.' Fortunately, the fourth guy we were playing with was 'big' and wearing shorts despite the single digit temperatures .... The thugs had second thoughts about starting with us - after seeing him.
Although my game has been less than stellar -- I accepted an invitation to play at the Trump National Golf Course today. My host was a 6 figure donor to WJCS who is a sports enthusiast. We've made multiple bets during the course of the year - He's a Philly's fan - I'm a Yankees fan so I won a lunch; He operates a hedge fund so he's a gambler by nature and hates to lose. At the start of the big dance we bet which team (Georgetown - he's an alum, on the Board of Directors and 3 of his kids have gone to the school and of course I have jogged on east campus numerous times and have spent 7 years on the campus which almost makes me a Duke alum) would advance further. The bet was a round of golf -- Trump vs. Saxon Woods.
IF I WERE A RICH MAN, I'd be comfortable with the trappings of a country club - and Trump puts the others to shame. It starts off with the valet parking your car and making sure your clubs are brought to the driving range. It ends with the valet bringing your car, which they washed - with your clubs in it. In between there are people who do everything from putting the tee in the ground for you - why should you bend - to polishing your golf shoes and changing the laces because they were starting to fray. We had a caddy who carried two bags - and of course I don't have a light 'stand up' one and managed to always appear with the correct club to use. He virtually drew a line on the green for you to follow when putting. He wipes your clubs down after every swing and would iron your shirt between holes if you asked.
and for the record - let me state emphatically that I did NOT piss in the woods. The caddy carried a urinal for this purpose.
So why am I so neurotic that I can't just play the role of a 'rich man.' I dressed the part today - dressed in work slacks, a white collared golf shirt and a grey golf sweater. I wore a new Titlest golf hat and didn't blow my nose in the cloth napkin at lunch.
Who amongst my readership would be able to 'tolerate' being king/queen for a day. I'm like Cinderella - although she was able to enjoy the ball - and I didn't lose my shoe (just got them back a lot cleaner.) How would you handle this culture shock for the day ... IF YOU WERE A RICH (WO)MAN?
Status quo at the gym -- The two young women at the front desk sign Jodi and me up for spin without asking; no-one is stealing our bikes, and the ellipticals seem to have lost their popularity. Another way of saying -- no GYM STORIES.
I'm boring myself with this blog entry ..... any suggestions for future blogs? How about a section of "Ask the Blogger".... you write in questions and I'll answer them.
Until then - How do you sell things on E-Bay?
Wish my drives were as long as my putts -
Max out
The two prior Sundays were polar opposites in terms of weather. Two weeks ago it was 90 and humid, last week it was in the 40's with wind gusts equalling the temperature. The only thing that was consistent for the past two weeks was my game .... which was so bad that if I knew how to - I would have put my clubs up for sale on E-Bay. Perhaps the most noteworthy thing is that Les is slowly but surely being outfitted by the Maple Moore golf shop .... having bought a black Maple Moore golf hat one week (the hot day) and a new black golf glove the next week (when it was snowing.) Other than Neil almost getting beat up because he had the audacity to pick up a golf ball on our fairway - and not seeing anyone around - pocket it. A couple of thugs playing on the fairway next to ours wanted his head because they were playing for money and it was one of their balls that Neil 'stole.' Fortunately, the fourth guy we were playing with was 'big' and wearing shorts despite the single digit temperatures .... The thugs had second thoughts about starting with us - after seeing him.
Although my game has been less than stellar -- I accepted an invitation to play at the Trump National Golf Course today. My host was a 6 figure donor to WJCS who is a sports enthusiast. We've made multiple bets during the course of the year - He's a Philly's fan - I'm a Yankees fan so I won a lunch; He operates a hedge fund so he's a gambler by nature and hates to lose. At the start of the big dance we bet which team (Georgetown - he's an alum, on the Board of Directors and 3 of his kids have gone to the school and of course I have jogged on east campus numerous times and have spent 7 years on the campus which almost makes me a Duke alum) would advance further. The bet was a round of golf -- Trump vs. Saxon Woods.
IF I WERE A RICH MAN, I'd be comfortable with the trappings of a country club - and Trump puts the others to shame. It starts off with the valet parking your car and making sure your clubs are brought to the driving range. It ends with the valet bringing your car, which they washed - with your clubs in it. In between there are people who do everything from putting the tee in the ground for you - why should you bend - to polishing your golf shoes and changing the laces because they were starting to fray. We had a caddy who carried two bags - and of course I don't have a light 'stand up' one and managed to always appear with the correct club to use. He virtually drew a line on the green for you to follow when putting. He wipes your clubs down after every swing and would iron your shirt between holes if you asked.
and for the record - let me state emphatically that I did NOT piss in the woods. The caddy carried a urinal for this purpose.
So why am I so neurotic that I can't just play the role of a 'rich man.' I dressed the part today - dressed in work slacks, a white collared golf shirt and a grey golf sweater. I wore a new Titlest golf hat and didn't blow my nose in the cloth napkin at lunch.
Who amongst my readership would be able to 'tolerate' being king/queen for a day. I'm like Cinderella - although she was able to enjoy the ball - and I didn't lose my shoe (just got them back a lot cleaner.) How would you handle this culture shock for the day ... IF YOU WERE A RICH (WO)MAN?
Status quo at the gym -- The two young women at the front desk sign Jodi and me up for spin without asking; no-one is stealing our bikes, and the ellipticals seem to have lost their popularity. Another way of saying -- no GYM STORIES.
I'm boring myself with this blog entry ..... any suggestions for future blogs? How about a section of "Ask the Blogger".... you write in questions and I'll answer them.
Until then - How do you sell things on E-Bay?
Wish my drives were as long as my putts -
Max out
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)